"When you're in your twenties, you think that these amazing loves will just come all the time," she says. "Then you get to your forties and you realize they don't ... Those are really, really rare." 'I need to feel the pain of this mistake,' Lenny Kravitz writes about his relationship with a woman he didn't take seriously enough. "'Pain teaches us like nothing' is what i've learned from love avoidant friends', she adds.