Rejection, Shame, and Playing Small

Nidhi Tewari connects rejection with disappointment, shame, belonging, and the tendency to avoid ambitious opportunities or charge higher rates.

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Episode notes

Most creatives think their pricing problem is a pricing problem. Nidhi Tewari, LCSW and author of Working Well, says it starts much earlier, in the messages you absorbed about whether this career was ever going to pay. She and Chris trace how old rejection turns into shame, and how shame quietly shows up in the way you pitch, negotiate, and discount. From there it gets practical: the three traps in a sales conversation, fixers, avoiders, and connectors, what an explorer does instead, and the four domains of attunement she calls FRSC. Chris pushes back hard on the word relational, and the disagreement is the best part. If you keep saying yes to a lower fee, this one's for you.

Timestamps:

(00:00) - Intro

(00:24) - Where Limiting Beliefs Start

(03:00) - Social Expectations and Career Limiting Beliefs

(03:57) - Proving Yourself to Your Parents

(04:48) - Why a No Hurts So Much

(08:43) - Rejection and Shame Are Cousins

(10:57) - Avoidance Is the Real Blocker

(15:27) - Relational Selling vs. Transactional Selling

(16:01) - Connection Gaps in Sales Calls

(18:37) - Fixers, Avoiders, and Connectors

(20:34) - Maintaining Your Fee and Boundaries