The idea of walking away and losing all of them immediately in one fell swooper is just almost impossible to comprehend. I actually thought in that moment, like, could i pretend for the sake of my families, just so i could keep them tod not have to lose them? Now, i'm the third of 11 children em yonow, 50 some cousins, and we all lived within a few blocks of each other. The church members were our entire life. They were entire community, the only people we were ever allowed to be close with.