121. Helping Parents of ROGD Kids: Emotional Support + Practical Tools with Jane Wise
You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist
Navigating Gender Identity: Parental Challenges and Insights
This chapter explores the emotional difficulties parents encounter when supporting their children through gender identity struggles. It delves into the parallels between these challenges and addiction, emphasizing the need for awareness and understanding within familial dynamics. The discussion highlights the importance of self-care for parents and the complexities of maintaining supportive yet structured environments for their children.
Jane Wise is a certified addictions counselor who, like me, provides both individual and group support for parents of ROGD kids. After learning that parents who questioned their children's gender identity were not only lacking in support, but were being called bigots and transphobes just for worrying about their kids, Jane decided to use her skills as a group counselor to help provide a space for them to support each other.
In this episode, we compare and contrast our approaches to helping ROGD parents, work that occupies relatively new and uncharted territory in a cultural and political landscape that remains hostile toward the concerns of both parents and mental health professionals. Jane shares her personal evolution from a staunch supporter of the trans movement to a critical observer, shedding light on the struggles faced by parents navigating rapid onset gender dysphoria in their children.
The episode touches on the delicate balance between offering support and avoiding enabling harmful decisions, drawing parallels between addiction dynamics and gender identity exploration. We discuss the emotional turmoil experienced by parents, the impact of societal pressures, and the importance of maintaining hope amidst uncertainty. We explore the concept of motivational interviewing and its application in guiding parents through difficult conversations with their children. I also share a sneak preview of a few concepts from my upcoming course for parents.
Jane Wise is a certified addictions counselor who facilitates one of the regional, monthly parent support groups for Parents of ROGD Kids. Jane is not a parent herself, but after learning that parents who questioned their children's gender identity were not only lacking in support, but were being called bigots and transphobes just for worrying about their kids, she decided to use her skills as a group counselor to help provide a space for them to support each other. Jane also provides free individual support to parents of ROGD kids by appointment, and they do not have to belong to the support group she facilitates.
Books mentioned in this episode can be found via these Amazon affiliate links:
- Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
- The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt
Check out the rest of my recommendations for ROGD parents in the second section down in my bookshop.
Thank you for purchases that support the show.
00:00 Start
[00:01:10] Supporting parents of ROGD kids.
[00:04:29] Detransitioners and changing perspectives.
[00:09:25] Parental dynamics in transition.
[00:13:32] Maintaining Connection with Trans Children
[00:16:15] Cluster B personality traits.
[00:19:57] Catch-22 situation.
[00:21:41] Double binds in parenting.
[00:28:23] Parenting and problem-solving strategies.
[00:31:12] Motivational interviewing technique
[00:35:17] Addiction and gender exploration.
[00:37:32] The nature of gender ideology.
[00:40:08] The nature of evil.
[00:44:31] The concept of being an ally.
[00:50:52] Love and limits in parenting.
[00:54:29] Parenting challenges and dynamics.
[00:57:02] Cluster B personality traits.
[01:01:22] Moral psychology and disgust.
[01:05:16] Powerful, destructive habit.
[01:09:16] Puberty blockers and suicide rates.
[01:13:40] Destructive vs. good addictions.
[01:15:03] Recognizing harms of gender affirmation.
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SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.
MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.
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Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI.
Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission.
Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration.
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