If this is your first Christmas without someone important to you, I know that through this time can be particularly challenging. The holidays are often the hardest for those who don't have a reliable support system or access to family in the way that many of us do. There really is no explanation I think that I can provide for this experience and I hate when people say things like, oh it makes you stronger or things happen for a reason. Just know that there are people who love you and I'm sending you strength"