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Are You Being Self-Loathing?
In the process of building theories you often are forced to do things which are themselves intellectually quite valuable. So some people will say that this activity of kind of elaborating upon and defending one's core commitments is actually in the end intellectually very valuable. If you take that game seriously you'll find it's really difficult and what you have to do to play it well is just a real driver of innovation. I'm not self-loathing at all like someone's gotta love me. Some of my best friends are philosophers I don't want to know. There you go that works.