The people you hang out with are going to be crucial. Become aware and acknowledge your own emotional needs, no matter how irrational they are. communicate your half baked, confusing, idiotic emotional needs to your partner and let them emotionally mirror. Remember, thy don't have to fix anything. Theydon't have to change themselves. All you really need to become more securely attached and understand your emotions better is for someone to just mirror and acknowledge what you feel.