Are There Wants in a Conversation?

When we're in communication and were not conscious of it, there's a whole lair of wanting that creates static. Ean how many have had that experience of your partner saying to you, use the magic four words, we need to talk? And what happens? You get tight. Are you really going to listen? It's hard to listen when we feel hurt or offended. When we feel pushed away by what another's saying, we we shut down. We want to sound intelligent or like we know what is going on. Then then we get tight. The same thing as when there's aversion, aversions to flip side of wanting. That striving interferes with presence, with really