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The Emperor Augustus and the Dwarf Lyceus
The story is about the emperor Augustus and a little guy named Lyceus, who's an actor. The dwarf Lyceus puts some soap and crap on his face and makes him look even older and messed up. He really does not like actors at all, but he needs the talents of an actor because he will be an actor today. And they rub gross, stinky soap all over themselves and they like stain it with vinegar to make them look like they have skin lesions.