In 2010 most of my closest friends in 35 Rob Kelly, Camryn West, Will Donnelly and Gunnery Sergeant Carlisle had been killed or wounded. The loss left me feeling dead inside I was just waiting for my body to catch up we'd arrived in Sangin in October 2010 and settled into a life of brutal sameness. "I felt increasingly ground under the wheels of war so this is the burden of command that you're talking about"