I mean the way that you lay that out it's like a reframe of what conflict actually is. The anxiously fast person they're not going to bring up their argument and when they do it's going to be a series of demands. John Bolby father of attachment theory he talks about two types of anger one is anger of despair which we typically associate with anger but also an anger of hope. I want us to heal something so we can resume being in connection with each other rather than coddle my pain by trying to attack you or incite revenge.

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