Intro

This chapter humorously examines the pitfalls of trying too hard to impress in social interactions, especially during a first date. Through an awkward anecdote centered on an obsession with sprouts, it reveals how excessive effort to appear impressive can backfire, resulting in cringe-worthy moments.

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Episode notes

A lot of the self-improvement industry and advice is backwards. The more books we read the further away from our goals we become.

Ultimately we want to be happier yet we are accruing more and more things to fix before we are happy with ourselves.

In this episode, we explore the biggest paradoxes where the work we do can make us more brittle and breakable:

Effortlessness Paradox - The harder we try the harder we make it
Happiness Paradox - Pursuing Happiness instead chases it away
Validation paradox - Seeking external validation prevents internal validation
Emotions paradox - Suppressing emotions makes them overwhelm us
The Shadow - Rejecting our flaws makes them worse
Planning Paradox - Overplanning reduces adaptability
Self-Improvement Paradox - The more things you find to fix the more broken you feel

Searching and finding can be different things.

We learn a more subtle approach to self-improvement that spends more time building wisdom and focusing on smaller immediately actionable steps with less chasing and running in circles.

We find answers to the question "How do we balance the art of wanting to improve whilst also wanting to live in contentment in the present?"

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