Identity and Leading Yourself First

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In this raw and honest episode, Christine Jewell tackles the dangerous trap of losing yourself while trying to lead your family and build your future. Speaking from personal experience of grinding it out head-down in business only to watch her marriage and health slip through her hands, Christine reveals why so many leaders feel disconnected from their families despite all their hard work—it's misaligned leadership that puts faith in the wrong place. Drawing from recent conversations with clients who were experiencing high conflict and low intimacy in their marriages, Christine unpacks the subtle shift that moves you from transactional love to transformational change and provides a clear roadmap back to spirit-led leadership anchored in your God-given identity. If you're feeling like you've lost yourself somewhere along the way or if you're waiting for your spouse to change before you'll step up, this episode will help you reclaim your role as the atmosphere-setter in your home without losing who you are.

This Episode Is for You If:

• You feel like you've lost yourself while grinding it out to provide for your family and build your future
• The life you once envisioned with your spouse has turned into high conflict and low intimacy
• You're carrying the weight of trying to fix, control, and change your partner instead of leading yourself
• You're working harder than ever but watching your marriage and family relationships slip through your hands
• You suspect you've abandoned your God-given roles and are operating in spiritual inversion
• You're ready to stop putting your faith in your spouse's changes and start believing in what God can do
• You need to learn how to become the thermostat that sets the atmosphere in your home

KEY TAKEAWAYS

🔨 Pre-decide who you're bringing to the table each morning before your feet hit the floor—don't wait to see how your spouse shows up

🌊 Set the standard for your emotional home base: choose peace over pressure, joy over chronic disappointment

👂 Stop trying to change your spouse and start asking God what He's doing in your heart and how He's calling you to lead

💎 Fiercely protect the atmosphere of your home by building moats around your marriage and guarding what gets access

⚡ Operate from your kingdom identity, not your rejected and dejected identity—this requires daily time with the King of Kings

🏗️ Create safety in your home: physically, emotionally, and mentally safe spaces where people can be themselves

NOTABLE QUOTES

"I feel like I lost myself. Somewhere along the way, I was pursuing the growth... And when I lost myself, I started to feel my marriage slipping through my hands."

"This is not about domination. This is about alignment—aligning ourselves to God's plan for us, how we're called to lead."

"We lose ourselves when we try to control people. We lose ourselves when we put faith that if I do this, they'll do this. That's transactional love."

"You can't put faith in her. You've got to put your faith in God, the one who designed marriage in the first place."

"Too many of you are waiting for your spouse to affirm who you are... Do not base your identity off of what a human has to say about you."

"If Christ is in you and the Holy Spirit is alive in you, when you walk into a room and you are really connected to the heart and spirit and mind of God, you move the room, you shape the room."

FEATURED SCRIPTURES

John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Proverbs 3:5-6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Romans 12:2 - "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."