When trying harder backfires

This episode is brought to you by Bon Charge, BiOptimizers, Our Place, and Cozy Earth.

True progress often isn’t blocked by a lack of effort, but by hidden traps in how we think, strive, and apply our energy. Many of us push harder, stay busier, and demand more from ourselves, only to feel burned out, stuck, or misaligned. Working harder isn’t always the answer, and today’s guest shows us why.

Today on The Dhru Purohit Show, Dhru sits down with psychologist Dr. Diana Hill to explore how the way we use our energy, not just how hard we try, shapes our health, relationships, and sense of purpose. Dr. Hill unpacks why so many high-achievers feel burned out, stuck, or quietly dissatisfied despite doing “all the right things,” and reveals the hidden traps that keep us spinning our wheels, from misusing our strengths to chasing goals that don’t align with our values. She also introduces the idea of wise effort versus forcing change through pressure and self-criticism. This conversation offers a powerful reframe for anyone who feels overextended or misdirected, showing how psychological flexibility and values-based choices can restore vitality, clarity, and a deeper sense of alignment in everyday life.

Dr. Diana Hill is a psychologist and international trainer specializing in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). She helps individuals and organizations build psychological flexibility using science-backed, compassion-driven tools. Diana is the author of four books, including Wise Effort, hosts the Wise Effort podcast, and has been featured in NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, and more—known for making complex psychology practical, clear, and deeply usable.

In this episode, Dhru and Dr. Hill dive into: 

• When effort turns against you and pushing harder makes things worse (1:37)

• The quiet reason resolutions fail and what your intuition already knows (3:47)

• The hidden story we were taught about growth and why it’s misleading (10:55)

• How your energy gets drained without you ever noticing (19:02)

• The perspective shift that changes how you meet challenges and yourself (25:46)

• Dr. Hill’s wake-up moment and the unseen cost of trying too hard (30:52)

• Why reaching the goal still leaves something missing (43:30)

• What avoiding discomfort is actually costing you (48:07)

• Discovering your “genius energy” and what it’s meant for (58:46)

• The self-limiting stories that feel true but quietly hold you back (1:17:16)

• The subtle trap of chasing goals instead of living your values (1:25:40)

• Dr. Hill’s closing insight on trusting your inner compass (1:28:17)

Also mentioned in this episode:

• Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most

For more on Dr. Hill, follow her on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Insight Timer, or visit her Website.

This episode is brought to you by Bon Charge, BiOptimizers, Our Place, and Cozy Earth.

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