You may know Tom Ellis as the devilishly charming lead in Netflix’s Lucifer, or as the lovable Gary in the BBC sitcom Miranda. He's also made waves in the U.S., starring alongside Gina Rodriguez in Players, and appearing in Hulu’s Tell Me Lies, created by his wife, Meghan Oppenheimer.

In 2023, Tom and Meghan welcomed a daughter via surrogate, adding to his role as a proud dad of four. Now, his next big project is the star-studded film adaptation of Richard Osman’s bestselling novel The Thursday Murder Club, alongside Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, and Richard E. Grant.

In this episode, Tom opens up about modern fatherhood, navigating surrogacy, his fear of needles and what it's really like working on a series about sexual toxicity - with his real-life partner at the helm.

✨ IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Intro

01:25 From Cardiff to Hollywood

02:11 The Spiritual Journey

04:17 The Thursday Murder Club Experience

06:37 Personal Life and Surrogacy

10:20 Failures and Lessons in Sports

20:09 Discovering Acting

23:50 Being Recognised on the Street

24:04 Medical Green Card Failure

26:35 Discovering Vasovagal Condition

27:45 Becoming a US Citizen

27:54 Political Climate in the US

31:15 Working with his Wife

37:09 Financial Struggles as a Student

43:43 Cats and Family Life

💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:

"I've had to face things that have been really uncomfortable. But I'm glad that I have done, because then I get back to a place of - this is where I should be. Acknowledging when I've been in the wrong place has been hard, but it's something that I've got better at"

On therapy: "I've learned that you're just basically asking someone to ask you the questions that you're scared to ask yourself, because you probably know the answers already"

🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:

Tom Ellis stars in The Thursday Murder Club, available to watch now on Netflix

Elizabeth’s upcoming one-off show at Cadogan Hall on 21 Sep for her new novel One of Us: ⁠https://www.fane.co.uk/elizabeth-day

Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content

📚 WANT MORE?

Miranda Hart - https://link.chtbl.com/BoBbGenZ

Richard Osman - https://link.chtbl.com/oo_ct3h3

Tom Daley - https://link.chtbl.com/FGrAfe6J

💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?

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👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:

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TikTok: @howtofailpod

Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod

Website: www.elizabethday.org

Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/

Elizabeth and Tom Ellis answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com

Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com

Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan

Sound Engineer: Matias Torres

Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali

Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot

Executive Producer: Carly Maile

How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.

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