When you want to be a better man, there are an endless number of routes you can go down: Exercise, relationships, personal development, mental health, and the list goes on.
And yet, there’s one route that’s so dark and gloomy and lonely that it never even crosses the minds of most men: Your sexual story.
That’s why I invited Scott and Chris from the We Got Balls Podcast back onto today’s episode.
Thinking about, addressing, and then owning your sexual story is not easy. In fact, it’s one of the most difficult challenges you’ll ever face.
But you know what?
We all have sexual stories. Some are wicked and involve sexual abuse. Others are mild and involve more silence than anything. But all of them create shame. And this shame, while you may be able to handle it most of the time, can disrupt your relationships, butcher your confidence, and blossom into addiction. Especially when it’s stacked upon the stresses of everyday life.
This is not an easy episode to listen to. Scott in particular shares the ins and outs of his dark sexual story (spoiler: it involves sexual abuse).
But if you’re struggling with addressing and owning (or even remembering) your sexual story, I encourage you to listen to the entire show. You’re not alone. And every man deals with their own sexual story which creates the shame cycle many find themselves trapped in without understanding why.
Here’s what Scott and Chris share in this episode:
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Why you must engage your story if you want to get rid of the shame
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How your family dynamics create the script for your sexual story
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How to heal your sexual brokeness
And more.
Other highlights include:
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Why do men have so much shame around their sexual story (and how to overcome it) (2:16)
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How being open about your sexual story can prevent an affair, divorce, and heartbreak (4:05)
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The weird way sexual abuse and emotional disruption gets passed down through generations (even if you don’t have any personal experience with it) (6:15)
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The “Engage Your Story” secret for changing the meaning you’ve ascribed to traumatic situations so they don’t haunt you anymore (14:08)
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How to have healthy sexuality that you can sustain long-term (and why it’s such a hard conversation for men) (18:28)
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Here’s why 38% of sexual abuse victims don’t remember it (even if it’s been documented by third parties) (23:13)
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Why addiction, no matter what kind of addiction, is the go-to solution for men to cover up deep, subconscious pain (26:21)
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How recovery groups pile on shame instead of alleviating it (and why having a kind friend can make recovery easier and more effective) (29:17)
Listen now!
Resources mentioned on this episode:
1. Subscribe to the We Got Balls Podcast hosted by Scott and Chris on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/@WeGotBallsPod
2. Buy Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer (the book mentioned in this episode) on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/3QRkif2
Other important links:
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