On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Brad Hambrick, pastor of counseling at the Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina, to discuss one of the most painful experiences a marriage can face: betrayal.

We explore the tension between idealized expectations of quick healing and the reality that recovery requires an intentional, patient process. Brad shares why "rarely is the first story, the whole story" and how incomplete information at the beginning can derail restoration efforts. We discuss the importance of full disclosure versus discovery, and why marriages often die from "a death of a thousand confessions" rather than the initial betrayal itself.

We examine the early stage work that must happen before forgiveness—gaining an accurate history of what occurred and assessing the unfaithful spouse's level of transparency and cooperation. Brad offers the profound insight that "there is as much hope for the marriage as there is honesty," helping us understand how to gauge realistic hope in the restoration process.

Throughout our conversation, we address how helpers can better support those who've experienced betrayal, why the betrayed spouse is often the most neglected individual in these situations, and how God's character speaks to this devastating reality.

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