i think i get the sense that you're really struggling, and you're terrified of becoming something that, you know, you're like running away from. And this is wherelike, it also seems like you don't experience a whole lot of shame, but i would venture that you probably need to learn how to. You are what you are, and nothing can take it away from you whether you're penniless or rich. That's when i discover confidence in who i am yet well. A for me, i like the i feel the most alive. And like, love the situations when shit goes wrong.