Episode 004 – The Freedom To Not Get Your Way

In our culture we bear an awful burden: The profound need to get our own way. This burden gets in the way of our relationships undermines our spiritual growth. It can even impede our sense of connection to God. Not getting our way is often painful, and we are hardwired to avoid pain! And yet there are times when not getting our way, even when it’s painful, is the best possible thing. And of course, Jesus modeled this for us in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Show Notes

Show notes will not be a transcript. At least not now. You’ll find a few key bullet points, any scriptures references, as well as any other books or resources referenced.

One of the terrible burdens we bear in our modern, individual, performance-driven culture is the need to get our way.
Scripture provides no support for this. In fact, just the opposite. A few examples:
- 1st Peter 2:1 “Submit to every human authority because of the Lord, whether to the Emperor as the supreme authority or to governors as those sent out by him to punish those who do what is evil and to praise those who do what is good.”
- Hebrews 13:17 “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account, so that they can do this with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.”
- Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord…”
- Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord, because this is right.”
- 1st Peter 5:5 “In the same way, you younger men, be subject to the elders.”
These passages have baggage. What about leaders or people in authority who don’t deserve to be respected? Who abuse? Who manipulate? Real care has to be taken that these verses are not used to justify getting our way, when we are the people with power!
Jesus presented the chief example of submission. Read the story in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Matthew 26:36-46)
Many of these passages find their proper framing when we consider a larger picture. Paul offers this context leading into the Household Codes of Ephesians:
- Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
- Ephesians 5:1 “Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children.”
We have the choice to not get our way! We have the choice to let other people get their way.
When we do this we may be respecting that Jesus is up to something that might be impeded by us getting our way.
Try this: In the moment when you are struggling with the urge to fight to get your way, consider this question:
- Right now, is MY WAY getting in JESUS’ WAY?
- Consider if it’s possible that there is something Jesus is doing in you, or in the people around you, or in this situation, where you getting your way would get in the way of what Jesus is up to?

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