You may feel dissatisfaction or discomfort in some realm of life that you want to shift. But where to start and how to succeed? In this first episode in a series on intentional living, Dr. Regan identifies ways to plan the foundation of change so that you experience growth without becoming overwhelmed.

As referenced in the current episode:

adultandgeriatricautism.com

Autism and Regulation podcast episode #1

Dr. Regan's online presentations with Zur Institute March, 2023:

Is my Client on the Spectrum? Dispelling Myths About Autism Diagnoses

Autism Assessment: The Seven Diagnostic Criteria Brought to Life

Dr. Regan's Resources

Course for Clinicians - Interventions in Autism: Helping Clients Stay Centered, Connect with Others, and Engage in Life

Course for Clinicians: ASD Differential Diagnoses and Associated Characteristics

Book: Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults, 2nd ed

Audiobook

Book: Understanding Autistic Behaviors

Autism in the Adult website homepage

Website Resources for Clinicians

Read the transcript:

1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,590
Hello and welcome to the podcast,

2
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,190
autism in the adult.

3
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:11,540
I am your host,

4
00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:13,160
Dr Theresa Regan.

5
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:15,630
I am a neuropsychologist,

6
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:25,930
the mom of a teen on the spectrum and I'm a certified autism specialist. For more information about my offerings and background,

7
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:31,020
please see my website at adultandgeriatricautism.com.

8
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,830
You can see the link below in the show notes.

9
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:33,920
Today,

10
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:41,420
we are starting a new series that I am calling autism and intentional living.

11
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:54,410
So living with intention rather than feeling that were just plodding along day to day or that there's a tidal wave of things happening and we are along for the ride.

12
00:00:55,700 --> 00:01:03,000
I think every human has seasons of life where we just try to recenter... regroup,

13
00:01:03,010 --> 00:01:16,430
figure out if we're really living with intention and meaning. We're going to focus on the intersection of that kind of season with autistic neurology.

14
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:35,810
Today we're going to have just a foundational and introductory session on this topic and we're going to start with the question of why would someone on the spectrum really need to consider living with intention.

15
00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:48,350
A lot of living in this with this mindset has to do with setting goals and thinking about shifts in your life if you want to change direction,

16
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:51,460
if you want to grow in any particular area.

17
00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:53,570
And some might feel like,

18
00:01:53,570 --> 00:01:54,230
well,

19
00:01:55,320 --> 00:02:08,380
a really nonjudgmental approach is just to support people where they are at and I completely agree... if the person is doing well,

20
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:15,000
if they're happy and healthy and they don't have goals to shift gears or adjust.

21
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,970
That is completely fine.

22
00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:26,160
But many of us really do best when we have some type of momentum toward a goal,

23
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:31,680
a momentum toward growing in a particular area...

24
00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:40,360
but sometimes it's hard to figure out ...what should these goals be and how do I make a goal that's going to stick?

25
00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:44,500
How do I make a goal that is challenging and I can grow,

26
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,190
but it's not overwhelming...

27
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,810
I'm not going to be in this kind of never ending,

28
00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:57,030
trying to crawl out of this huge weight on my shoulders that I've taken on with this goal.

29
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:14,710
So this series is for people who would like to be mindful of ways in which they might like to stretch themselves or go out of their comfort zone and would like to have a topic about how to do that,

30
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:16,000
how to think through it,

31
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:20,400
and some of the plans and supports that might help along the way.

32
00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:36,380
Let's talk about a first step to thinking with this intentionality and to be to become more aware of ways in which you might like to grow.

33
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,400
Um,

34
00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:50,430
one of the best things I think about a correct diagnosis of autism is the increased self awareness that ... should come from this diagnosis.

35
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:50,620
So,

36
00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:53,900
if you've ever had that aha moment,

37
00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:55,710
that's what I'm talking about,

38
00:03:55,710 --> 00:04:00,460
because things fall into place and you say,

39
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,780
oh my goodness,

40
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,250
this makes more sense.

41
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:07,350
This has come together.

42
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:24,430
It really has made a lot of things feel unified and meaningful and like I have a way to understand and express what makes me tick. And this self awareness,

43
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:43,920
this increase in self awareness, is often the first step to thinking about... in what ways do I want to just stay centered where I am and in what areas of my life might I like to shift or grow or again kind of go out of that comfort zone.

44
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:47,920
So when you have the self awareness,

45
00:04:47,930 --> 00:05:01,510
that is often the first step toward making some goals and being mindful of where you're at and where you'd like to be after self awareness.

46
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:08,500
One thing that can be helpful in goal setting is to think in categories of your life,

47
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:13,130
you may already know what your goal is or what you'd like to shift,

48
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:16,650
but there may be people who are saying,

49
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:21,800
I guess I should probably have a goal to be a better person or to...

51
00:05:22,850 --> 00:05:23,930
you know,

52
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:26,320
become better in some way,

53
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:26,820
but I don't...

54
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:30,110
I just really don't know where to start.

55
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,620
It could be everything.

56
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,430
Maybe it could be nothing.

57
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,040
So here,

58
00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:36,700
here's a way to start.

59
00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:39,050
We're going to think about categories.

60
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:48,960
One thing that some people that I work with who are on the autism spectrum,

62
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,340
one thing they think about as a category in their life,

63
00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:57,150
could be their special interest. Their...

64
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:58,790
the things they love.

65
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:03,400
Sometimes people will take that as a category and they will,

66
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:04,720
will say,

68
00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:07,730
how...

69
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:11,750
what kind of place does this have in my life right now,

70
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:15,730
and am I satisfied with that?

71
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:21,310
Or do I have this special interest,

72
00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:29,320
but I'd like to grow in a way that makes it more functional or meaningful for a broader audience.

73
00:06:29,330 --> 00:06:30,140
So,

74
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,660
one way to think about it is,

75
00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:33,850
oh,

76
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,880
I love, for example,

77
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:41,100
if the special interest is creative writing and I have these characters,

78
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:47,030
I have these narratives and plots in my head,

79
00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:51,450
and I think about what this character would say to that character,

80
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:55,390
or I love history,

81
00:06:55,400 --> 00:07:01,860
and I combine these characters with historical timelines or science fiction themes.

82
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:02,930
You know,

83
00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:05,070
this person may say,

84
00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:08,200
I have loved this for a long time,

85
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:19,880
and I've gotten to the point where I've developed characters and themes perhaps a way to stretch myself in this area of strength is to say,

86
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:29,870
do I want to have a goal to publish something perhaps to share it with other people who might enjoy it,

87
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:37,390
perhaps to make some additional income from my writing,

88
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,140
perhaps to grow as a writer.

89
00:07:40,150 --> 00:07:40,770
You know,

90
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,780
this person may have this love of creative writing,

91
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:47,270
but they may not have a degree in writing.

92
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:49,780
They may not have taken classes.

93
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,620
So,

94
00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:56,320
one category to think about is your interest.

95
00:07:56,330 --> 00:08:01,150
And in what ways might you want to grow in that area,

96
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,140
you may take a course,

97
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,440
You may create a product,

98
00:08:05,450 --> 00:08:07,400
you may create a website.

99
00:08:07,410 --> 00:08:10,450
Perhaps you want to publish fan fiction,

100
00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:13,820
Perhaps you want to publish an e book.

101
00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:14,490
Um,

102
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:18,140
the publishing options are really broad right now.

103
00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:24,250
Another individual on the spectrum may love athletic pursuits.

104
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:30,140
Perhaps they run and run and they just love that movement.

105
00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:31,680
They love to be outside.

106
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:33,570
It's one of their special interests.

107
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:37,160
They read a lot of running magazines,

108
00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:40,780
they read about nutrition for the runner and stretching.

109
00:08:41,660 --> 00:08:46,950
And this has been really a love that they've had for several years.

110
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:55,720
This person may wish to think about whether they would like to broaden what they're doing with running.

111
00:08:55,730 --> 00:09:06,770
So their goal or their intention for growth might be that they'd like to train for a specific race or marathon.

112
00:09:07,540 --> 00:09:09,730
Another person may say,

113
00:09:09,730 --> 00:09:10,230
oh,

114
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:10,860
you know,

115
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:15,070
I don't know if I want to do that or maybe I've already done it,

116
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:23,930
but they may say I would like to meet some new people to connect with the community and to give back uh,

117
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,210
and bless other people.

118
00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:38,790
So I think I'm going to see if I could coach some track or cross country in the community and teach other people what I love and what I'm good at.

119
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:49,610
So you can see that one category for growth and intention and momentum can be a special interest and something that you love,

120
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,170
you've researched,

121
00:09:51,170 --> 00:10:02,450
you've done it and you'd like to expand that.

Another category I'd like you to consider is health and wellness.

122
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:11,920
There are so many different areas... that this part of life can feel overwhelming. For the autistic though.

123
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,300
If you want to think about health and wellness,

124
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:22,690
you might think about areas that are particularly easy or particularly difficult for you.

125
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:38,610
One person on the spectrum may have a love of nutrition and cooking and again that can be combined with the last category where they're gonna start to teach other people about that.

126
00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:39,940
However,

127
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:46,900
another person on the spectrum may really find it difficult to expand

128
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:49,500
the range of what they eat.

129
00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:51,980
They might say to themselves.

132
00:10:54,130 --> 00:10:59,130
I would like to expand my palate.

133
00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:04,750
This is not to say that they must eat every food.

134
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:05,200
No,

135
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,260
it's just saying if I go out of my comfort zone,

136
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,590
how could I do that?

137
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,650
Or maybe the individual says,

138
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:13,180
you know what,

139
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:21,170
I don't think I'm going to expand my palate but I do want to focus on... within the foods I can eat comfortably...

140
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:25,020
How could I get better nutrition.

141
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:52,120
So this person might say I'm going to try adding a protein powder to my smoothie that I have every day or I'm going to try some supplements because I really can do pretty well with swallowing pills or capsules, and I want to make sure I'm getting all the vitamins that I need... or all the minerals.

142
00:11:52,800 --> 00:12:03,600
Another person in the area of health and wellness may realize that they spend a lot of their time doing seated work.

143
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:11,150
Maybe they love to do video games or they have a youtube channel that they keep up and they really enjoy that.

144
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:18,890
Perhaps the part of health and wellness that they choose to move forward with might be movement.

145
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:19,790
You know,

146
00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:22,700
a lot of times the nervous system,

148
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:43,450
particularly for those on the spectrum might need close attention to... how much movement and pressure does their nervous system need. Pressure,

149
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:46,740
meaning pressure in the muscles,

150
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:50,930
like a weighted blanket OR pressure in the joints.

151
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,530
Like lifting weights,

152
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:53,640
yoga.

153
00:12:54,020 --> 00:13:02,670
A lot of times these sensory inputs are regulating and calming for well always for any human,

154
00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:08,380
but the person on the spectrum may really need that need that intentionality,

155
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:16,090
that purposefulness where they really increase that during their daily routine.

156
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:23,250
This person may start with saying I really need more movement.

157
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:30,610
Therefore I'm going to walk the dog in the morning or I'm going to get a rocking chair and rock.

158
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:35,830
Uh it's not exercise but it gives the nervous system movement input.

159
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:42,130
And that can be for some people regulating where they feel more centered if they get to rock,

160
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,540
another person may feel like,

161
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:47,440
gosh I need more pressure input.

162
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:52,680
Um I'm going to get a hammock so I can lay in the hammock,

163
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:54,860
I'm going to get a weighted blanket.

164
00:13:54,870 --> 00:14:02,510
There's lots of ways to think about health and wellness as a category.

165
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:07,130
Speaking of sensory regulation techniques,

166
00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:10,180
let's talk about regulation as a category,

167
00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:17,930
you can see past series that talk through a lot of detail about regulation.

168
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:24,990
Every individual on the spectrum will find some challenges in the area of regulation.

169
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:32,420
And here let's talk about regulation of emotions and of the internal motor,

170
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:37,670
how activated someone feels or how sluggish.

171
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:46,060
So for the autistic individual they may have difficulty staying centered,

172
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,350
calm,

173
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,960
attentive,

174
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:55,330
and that they find that just right spot where they don't feel anxious,

175
00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:56,450
angry,

176
00:14:56,450 --> 00:14:58,600
overwhelmed or frozen,

177
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:12,650
where they're aware and they're centered. There are strategies for regulation and I will put the link to that regulation series in the show notes.

178
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:17,580
Someone may think of this category of regulation and say,

179
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,020
you know,

180
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:32,710
I would like to stay more even, I would like to feel more steady in my own person ...that I can feel resilient toward the day.

181
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:44,070
And so my area for growth that I choose is to live with some intention about how to regulate myself

182
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,330
the best that I can across time every day.

183
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:55,490
Another great area for consideration would be relationships and communication.

184
00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:00,880
Not everyone needs a goal in this area,

185
00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:07,400
but the self awareness of the categories can help us think through again with intention.

186
00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:13,180
Like is this the place I'd like to be in my relationships and if you're in that place,

187
00:16:13,190 --> 00:16:14,390
super.

188
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,610
If you would like to improve some area,

189
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:23,540
you might consider whether you want to be intentional about some goals in that area.

190
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:53,320
One individual may feel like they really have relationships that work well for them and they have this already established way of communicating this rhythm together and they just want to keep and maintain that -- another person may want to figure out how to get some extra social time and and kind of add to their relationships in a way that feels really satisfying to them.

191
00:16:53,330 --> 00:17:07,520
Like what type of person would I like to connect with and what kind of activities do I actually like to do with people... again in a way that feels really satisfying and filling to that individual.

192
00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:11,680
Another person may have a communication goal,

193
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,240
they might say,

194
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:13,630
you know,

195
00:17:13,630 --> 00:17:18,650
I'm super good at presenting facts and details at work,

196
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:21,090
I like going on conference calls,

197
00:17:21,090 --> 00:17:24,040
I know what to say when it's my turn to talk,

198
00:17:24,050 --> 00:17:31,610
but I really get overwhelmed with conflict and I can shut down,

199
00:17:31,610 --> 00:17:40,640
I can freeze and at some point I might just kind of blow up and go too far trying to get my point across,

200
00:17:40,650 --> 00:18:02,220
I might want there to be justice in this situation and it's really difficult for me to know how to have effective communication without shutting down or blowing up in a case where there's a lot at stake ... where there's high emotion. That might be your area of growth this season,

201
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:05,490
An additional category,

202
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,050
may be everyday life tasks.

203
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:11,840
We all have these kind of mundane,

204
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:13,770
repetitive,

205
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:20,000
really uninspiring things that have to get done in our everyday life.

206
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:25,380
We have to pay bills... we need to take the car to get an oil change.

207
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:31,060
We're really due to go to the dentist,

208
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:31,480
you know,

209
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,970
appointments and tasks and chores... these kinds of things.

210
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:46,780
This may be an area where someone wants to push themselves this season and kind of get in a better rhythm. For one person.

211
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:51,200
It may be tackling how to really clean their environment.

212
00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:55,160
... more frequently or ...or less frequently.

213
00:18:55,170 --> 00:19:05,870
How to declutter. For people on the spectrum who have great collections and love different objects perhaps related to their interest,

214
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:18,070
they may feel they've gotten to the point where there's just not enough space... or they've spent too much money and they want to figure out how to balance out how many collections they have.

215
00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:24,660
Another person may feel like they want to figure out a better rhythm for budgeting.

216
00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:29,730
It's really tough to balance.

217
00:19:29,740 --> 00:19:31,420
you know...

218
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,400
I've got to pay these bills first.

219
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:46,240
But then this unexpected bill came and also I have these things related to my interests that I would really really love to invest my money in as well.

220
00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:51,140
There's also this executive function piece to money management of,

221
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:54,710
have I set up all these automatic accounts?

222
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,130
Have I forgotten to pay something.

223
00:19:57,130 --> 00:20:03,980
Have I not realized that my check didn't land in my account properly.

224
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:14,150
So organization, planning, details and being able to wait to perhaps get something that you really love.

225
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:22,650
Those things might be this category for you of tackling daily tasks a little differently.

226
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:29,060
And someone else may want to work on how to get out there in the community,

227
00:20:29,070 --> 00:20:30,830
navigate their community,

228
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:33,890
Perhaps they have a license to drive,

229
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:34,630
they have a car,

230
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:37,310
but it is not their favorite thing to do.

231
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,710
Perhaps strategies related to...

233
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:52,340
how do I maintain getting out of the house and connecting with people when driving is really kind of draining for me.

234
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:58,370
A final category you might want to think about is the family culture.

235
00:20:58,370 --> 00:21:01,980
So if you live in a household with other people,

236
00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:06,990
you might want to think about how the culture works.

237
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,180
This is part of self awareness and intentionality.

238
00:21:10,180 --> 00:21:20,430
Because what happens in any household is that we get into this just rhythm of what needs to be done.

239
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:21,010
Who said

240
00:21:21,010 --> 00:21:21,430
what?

241
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:21,840
Who did

242
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,360
what,

243
00:21:22,630 --> 00:21:25,990
Who's irritating which person?

244
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,720
Um and the culture can very easily drift into,

245
00:21:30,730 --> 00:21:34,550
hey don't do that or why didn't you do this?

246
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:44,960
A lot of telling people how they're falling short ...having them know what our expectation is that they behave differently,

247
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:51,760
that they do different tasks... and that can be a very draining kind of culture when we drift into that.

248
00:21:52,000 --> 00:22:00,140
So a different culture might be again focusing on this intentionality and awareness...

249
00:22:00,150 --> 00:22:08,350
To introduce the culture where our thought process is "this is what I need today."

251
00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:17,450
Maybe you're working on regulation and you need to take certain things into account to get better centered or more centered,

252
00:22:17,460 --> 00:22:26,340
but you have this culture emerging at home where you realize that other people may have a different need.

253
00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:29,960
So we say "this is what I need today,

254
00:22:29,970 --> 00:22:31,850
what is it that you need?"

255
00:22:33,090 --> 00:22:34,600
And then we say,

256
00:22:34,610 --> 00:22:37,110
how can we both get our needs met?

257
00:22:37,780 --> 00:22:41,530
And there are times when yeah,

258
00:22:41,540 --> 00:22:43,910
everybody can't get all their needs met.

259
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:57,240
But this culture of trying to protect other people's needs and bring them out into the open and negotiate about those is really nice,

260
00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:58,360
it's really fun,

261
00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,270
freeing,

262
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,580
It changes us from adversaries to partners.

263
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:28,360
So if a dad is super sound sensitive and just had a rough day on a zoom call with his boss and he comes in and his five year old daughter is in her ballerina costume and she's singing and twirling and jumping and she jumps into his arms.

264
00:23:28,860 --> 00:23:29,890
You know,

265
00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:33,030
he may have this strong reaction like,

266
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,990
oh my gosh,

267
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,370
this house is a mess,

268
00:23:36,370 --> 00:23:41,430
this child is spinning all around and it's so loud,

269
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,590
so loud,

270
00:23:42,590 --> 00:23:44,210
I'm so sound sensitive,

271
00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:46,080
I need my own space.

272
00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,260
I mean my own quiet.

273
00:23:48,270 --> 00:23:57,350
Um and he could very easily react to this and say stop,

274
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,770
go to your room.

275
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:05,740
Um but a shift in culture may look like look at you,

276
00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:07,450
you are all dressed up.

277
00:24:07,460 --> 00:24:08,950
Does that feel good?

278
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:13,920
It looks like you'd really love to spin and sing today.

279
00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:16,390
I really need quiet.

280
00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:17,680
My ears are hurting.

281
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,940
They're kind of sensitive today.

282
00:24:20,980 --> 00:24:27,320
If you're wanting to sing and dance and I need quiet and rest,

283
00:24:27,330 --> 00:24:29,740
how could we both get our needs met?

284
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,140
And then dad could say,

285
00:24:33,150 --> 00:24:33,660
hey,

286
00:24:33,660 --> 00:24:53,030
I wonder if you could sing and dance in the basement, and I could have some rest and quiet time in the backyard ...and then we could meet back here and you can tell me more about your dancing that would represent a shift in culture.

287
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:59,780
How does this household handle the needs of others when they conflict?

288
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:00,990
Um,

289
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:08,800
so that maybe this area of growth that you might want to focus on for a season today,

290
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:20,090
we've talked about the way that an autism diagnosis creates some freedom and openness by increasing self awareness.

291
00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:21,710
This is how I work.

292
00:25:21,710 --> 00:25:23,500
This is what makes me tick.

293
00:25:23,510 --> 00:25:36,090
This is what I need and that in itself is an expanding out of the smaller place that you might have felt you existed in before.

294
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:39,060
So with this expansion of self awareness,

295
00:25:39,070 --> 00:26:06,450
we can either kind of go back to life as usual or we can ride the tidal wave of all our daily activities and things that we're used to doing or we can pause and kind of restock and think about if I want to live intentionally and perhaps I want to grow,

296
00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:08,880
I want to go out of my comfort zone,

297
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:13,570
I want to have goals and momentum toward those goals,

298
00:26:13,570 --> 00:26:15,780
but I don't want to be overwhelmed.

299
00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:17,320
You know,

300
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,230
this is a way to approach that.

301
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:25,220
If you would like to take some journey with me during the series,

302
00:26:25,230 --> 00:26:42,050
take some time this month to say which of these categories might fit where I'm at and where I'd like to have some growth now I do not want you to make goals in every category.

303
00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:42,890
No,

304
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:51,220
this is about being intentional without um kind of running ourselves into the ground.

305
00:26:51,230 --> 00:27:02,010
We don't want to make so many goals that we just um can't keep up the momentum because we're weighted down.

306
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:07,860
So just pick a category and pick one little goal,

307
00:27:07,870 --> 00:27:46,540
one area of growth within that category to start and then in the future you can redo other categories but be mindful think about intention and what you would like to think through as an area of growth and then join me back next time because what we're going to talk about in the second session of the series is how to take an area within a category and think about it in more specific ways in order to make a goal.

308
00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:52,190
Many clients that I have come in and say I'd like to grow in this area,

309
00:27:52,190 --> 00:28:04,490
but I have no idea how what kind of goal I can have success with or what kind of goal is reasonable for me at this time of my life,

310
00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:07,310
I feel lost about how to make a goal,

311
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:08,490
how to choose a goal,

312
00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:10,120
how to choose an area of....

313
00:28:10,490 --> 00:28:31,410
So next episode will be about that topic and then in the future will have additional episodes of this series that takes some of these categories and break them down even more with some strategies that might help you create more growth and wellness in any of these categories of life.

314
00:28:32,270 --> 00:28:32,860
So,

315
00:28:32,860 --> 00:28:34,590
food for thought for this month,

316
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:44,950
I'm so glad you joined me and I hope that you come back again with some thoughts about where you would like to have more intention in your living.

KONTRAFUNK aktuell vom 23. September 2025

KONTRAFUNK aktuell

Appell für palästinensische Journalisten: Hintergründe prüfen

The AI-powered Podcast Player