How to Remind Yourself of the Pain of Not Being a Successful Person

i have always, since my earliest memories of friends, like being an elementary school i have always unconsciously developed these friend groups where i am the centre of it. So that's my big and shiny that's my little stage where i do whatever i need to make each person really happy and safe. And there is goodness in that, interwoven in that. Like i said, it's all unconscious, even. But there is, there is some purity even in there. I just, for the first time, was like, what chance do i have? I'm so in the ocean of power, prestige and possessions. That's what la is sort of made of. Lovely tho everybody does