The Big Fat Rat Problem

I wish we could get cults to just assemble, make a movie based on their beliefs and then disassemble. I want to know what you think happened right at the beginning of the universe. With just a giant glowing Dorito on a spindle that turns. Filming everyone at all times. And turrets of barrels. Bales. Oh. That's your goal would be nice because if you fuck up the set or Robert changes his mind, he wanted it blue. Now he wants it green. He just throws a bagel at your head.