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If you’ve spent years in defense mode, trying to prove your goodness to people committed to misunderstanding you, this episode is for you. I share personal stories (from school days in Lebanon to adult life) about how judgment shaped my self-image, and the moment I chose to stop buying what judgment was selling. You’ll learn how conditioning fuels people-pleasing, why “being the good one” often keeps you stuck, and how to reclaim your energy, boundaries, and peace.
In this episode:
- The cost of living in “prove-them-wrong” mode
- A formative story about being misread, and what it awakened
- Conditioning, perfectionism, and why you “knew better” but couldn’t do better
- Kindness vs. enabling: stop being the sponge that soaks up poison
- Cutting judgment at the source and choosing your table
- “Words That Found Me” & “Words That Held Me” to carry with you
Favorite lines
- “Let them judge you. They will live with their judgment; you will live with your truth.”
- “If there’s no seat for you at the table, build your own and sit at it.”
Timestamps
00:00 Why defense mode drains your self-worth
01:01 Gratitude & what your notes mean to me
02:02 Today’s topic: Let them judge you
02:55 A school story that changed my lens
06:14 Being misread and the panic of losing your image
11:33 Image, integrity, and the fear of imperfection
14:01 Conditioning, nervous system, and capacity
16:02 When explaining becomes self-betrayal
19:34 Kindness ≠ enabling (the sponge metaphor)
23:10 Relationships as the biggest predictor of wellbeing
24:06 What “let them judge you” really means
25:03 A friend’s reframe: “They’re not paying your paycheck.”
26:51 Cut off judgment at the source
28:48 How people use snapshots to define your whole
31:03 When others’ insecurity tries to shrink you
33:09 “Words That Held Me”: a short poem
34:59 Choose your people, choose your life
35:55 Build your own table + closing
If this helped, share it with someone who needs relief from judgment, and leave a quick review. It helps others find the show. 💛
