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Reimagining Relationships | Expert Panel

Good Life Project

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The Third Character Trait Is Defensiveness

When you describe your partner negatively, that doesn't work. It creates defensiveness. Defensiveness is a kind of righteous victimhood - don't get mad at me. Another form of defensiveness is counter attack. And contempt is the worst. It's like sulphuric acid on a relationship. The number of times a listener hears contempt correlates with how many infectious illnesses they'll have while in the next year.

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