There’s a lot of loss in the world these days, both in our individual lives and in our broader communities, and with those losses comes grief. Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to be with, and it can be difficult to offer generalized advice because everyone's experience of grief is profoundly unique.
On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by one of the world’s leading researchers on grief, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, to help us better understand grief and grieving. They explore why grief is such a unique and intense emotion, how grief works in the brain, the problems with generalized models like the “five stages of grief,” and how we can learn to live with loss.
About Our Guest: Mary-Frances is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She’s also the author of the wonderful book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.
Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimer
3:35: Mary-Frances’ personal background
6:55: Distinguishing grief from grieving
9:20: Self-criticism, and the over-focus on recovery
11:20: Grief isn't "something to get over"
13:00: Attachment, and our neurological map
16:00: Prediction error
19:30: Complicated grief
25:00: Spiritual practice, or having a worldview that incorporates death
28:05: Is there a ‘normal’ grieving process?
35:25: Pathology, and normal human experiences
46:00: Neurological overview of grief in the brain
50:40: The Dual Process Model of Grief
54:10: Sometimes distraction is okay
56:15: Therapeutic practices and learning from grief
1:01:00: Grief and its relationship to love
1:03:40: Recap
New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year's sale is running now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.
Sponsors:
Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.
Connect with the show:
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
