Penalty Takers and Goalkeepers

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the political influences on modern-day school playground football, unacceptable names for skill moves, subtle ways to declare your club allegiance to office colleagues and a deep analysis of the lure of a background pub TV game that you didn’t think you'd care about.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some classy co-commentary from Dion Dublin and contemplate the cricket equivalent of footballing "dreamland".

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