If you're in a committed relationship to demonstrate effort and progress to your partner. You don't want to kind of come across as a victim necessarily but also don't minimize the shitty hand you've been dealt that's like a reality. I would ask her what makes it hard for you here's what I struggle with so she understands how not privileged you are. She may feel attacked while you're having this conversation so as she understands how privileged she is  she may feel attacked. It's very important that you'll don't compare so it's not about you did this way this way the goal in your mind should be I care about this person this person cares about me I want their help