There's a massive gender gap when it comes to crying. Men have larger tear ducts, which means we can store up more tears. We don't have to spill them all over ourselves the way you ladies do. When I see a man cry, I view it as a weakness. The last time I cried was when I was a baby. That's Donald Trump in 2015 before he became president. If there is a bag of potato chips within a half mile radius of us, that's all it takes for us to feel pretty good. And a beer.