Do You Want to Get a Competing Offer?

You had a sense you were underpaid where you tired of your company because you had this offer in hand. It can be useful and necessary sometimes so not being afraid to get a competing offer but knowing how to use it. You should never make it about Bob is making 5k more than me I should be making 5K more. Don't bring up Bob's name at all if you can just don't and just talk about you the skills that you bring. Some people don't have the introspection or the emotional intelligence as you mentioned to realize that sometimes you might not be at that level for a raise.