Step one is recognizing the pity and anger, recognize the feeling that someone's being condescended. If you can't figure out how compassion and condescension would look different in this scenario, then that's a real sign that maybe they're trying to be compassionate. Next question is like, okay, if two people that were not me and were not this person, were engaged in this behavior, would that be compassion or would that be condescension? Could I envision what that looked like? Does that make sense? So like someone's doing something to you, right? That makes you feel like they're being condescending. Right?