When was this moment for you that you decided to align with your highest best self and the experts and not your eating disorder voice? I think it was just, I was reading all the books, seeing myself in all the books. And I felt like I was seeing myself when my friends are telling me that the thing that is fucked up about their life is not a problem. She's never even... Yeah, remember the night we got in a bed and you said, I'm feeling like I'm having an urge that I wanna go maybe throw up or something or I don't know the exact words you used. But you put this moment out outside of your side. That was a betrayal of