i think the mistake that i made, which is probably not like, applicable to a bunch of other people, but it was when i tried to reinvent myself inm life through a middi crisis. I was like, my next woll needs to be incredibly meaningful. It needs to be like the second mountain. And no job was meaningful enough, and nothing actually really messed with my character. Whereas like it's about a ship of focus from the ego to theselt as young called it. In fact, he said he thought that was the meaning of life - you start off as a child completely engaged in the world.