Ep 401: Finding Love in Modern India
The Seen and the Unseen - hosted by Amit Varma
Redefining Success and Identity
This chapter explores the changing definitions of success in modern society, contrasting traditional goals with individual values and personal fulfillment. It examines the influence of cultural expectations, particularly in Indian society, on personal narratives and experiences, highlighting the pursuit of passions over societal norms. The discussion also delves into familial relationships and the impact of upbringing on perceptions of identity and success.
Bloody hell. The world has changed, society looks different, and men and women have to find new ways of relating to each other. We're not equipped for this. Sanjana Ramachandran and Samarth Bansal join Amit Varma in episode 401 of The Seen and the Unseen to discuss how meeting and mating are both easier and, well, harder. (FOR FULL LINKED SHOW NOTES, GO TO SEENUNSEEN.IN.) Also check out: 1. Sanjana Ramachandran on Twitter, Instagram, Substack, LinkedIn , FiftyTwo and her own website. 2. Samarth Bansal on Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and his own website. 3. The Reflections of Samarth Bansal -- Episode 299 of The Seen and the Unseen. 4. The Romantic Idiot -- Samarth Bansal. 5. Thirty and Thriving -- Samarth Bansal. 6. The Namesakes -- Sanjana Ramachandran. 7. The 'Woman-Math' Of A 31-Year-Old, Unmarried, Bengaluru Woman -- Sanjana Ramachandran. 8. Society of the Snow -- JA Bayona. 9. Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil — Hannah Arendt. 10. This Be The Verse — Philip Larkin. 11. Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood -- Satya Doyle Byock. 12. A Godless Congregation — Amit Varma. 13. What’s Consolation For An Atheist? -- Amit Varma. 14. Molecules Of Emotion -- Candace B Pert. 15. Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. 15. Womaning in India With Mahima Vashisht — Episode 293 of The Seen and the Unseen. 16. Scenes From a Marriage -- Ingmar Bergman. 17. Behave -- Robert Sapolsky. 18. Don’t think too much of yourself. You’re an accident — Amit Varma’s column on Chris Cornell’s death. 19. Determined -- Robert Sapolsky. 20. The Loneliness of the Indian Woman — Episode 259 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Shrayana Bhattacharya). 21. The Loneliness of the Indian Man — Episode 303 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Nikhil Taneja). 22. Reinventing Love -- Mona Chollet. 23. Sex Is Not a Spectrum -- Colin Wright. 24. Understanding the Sex Binary -- Colin Wright. 25. The Naturalistic Fallacy. 26. The Double ‘Thank You’ Moment — John Stossel. 27. Bad Faith in Existentialism. 28. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. 29. Whiplash -- Damien Chazelle. 30. Narendra Modi takes a Great Leap Backwards — Amit Varma on Demonetisation. 31. Immanuel Kant’s Categorical Imperative. 32. The Gulag Archipelago — Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. 33. I Am The Best -- The Shah Rukh Khan song from Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani. 34. The Madonna–Whore Complex. 35. Ranbir Kapoor on Nikhil Kamath's show. 36. Tamasha -- Imtiaz Ali. 37. Manic Pixie Dream Girl. 38. The Art of Podcasting -- Episode 49 of Everything Everything. 39. Anatomy of a Fall — Justine Triet. 40. Anatomy of a Folly — Amit Varma. 41. Marriage Story -- Noah Baumbach. 42. The Abyss and Other Stories — Leonid Andreyev. 43. Amit Varma's BTS reel as Gitanjali. 44. Peter Cat Recording Co. on Spotify, YouTube, Instagram and their own website. 45. The Life and Times of the Indian Economy -- Episode 387 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Rajeswari Sengupta). 46. Lant Pritchett Is on Team Prosperity — Episode 379 of The Seen and the Unseen. 47. How to Do Development -- Episode 57 of Everything is Everything. 48. The Pleasures and Pains of Coffee — Honoré de Balzac. 49. Sasha's 'Newsletter' -- Sasha Chapin. 50. The Evolution of Desire -- David Buss. 51. Modern Family and Friends. 52. Eve Fairbanks Examines a Fractured Society -- Episode 398 of The Seen and the Unseen. 53. The Flirting Trap — Eve Fairbanks. (Scroll down on that page for this piece). 54. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- Michel Gondry. 55. The Bookshop Romeo -- Amit Varma. 56. The Stranger -- Albert Camus. 57. When Harry Met Sally... -- Rob Reiner. 58. Annie Hall -- Woody Allen. 59. Late Admissions: Confessions of a Black Conservative -- Glenn Loury. 60. Rob Henderson's tweet on Glenn Loury's book. 61. The Game -- Neil Strauss. 62. On Flirting -- Rega Jha. 63. Notting Hill -- Roger Michell. 64. Postcards From Utsav Mamoria -- Episode 376 of The Seen and the Unseen. 65. Malini Goyal is the Curious One — Episode 377 of The Seen and the Unseen. 66. Unboxing Bengaluru — Malini Goyal and Prashanth Prakash. 67. Indian Matchmaking -- Created by Smriti Mundhra. 68. High Fidelity -- Nick Hornby. 69. Third Place. 70. The Pineapple Game. 71. The Razor's Edge -- W Somerset Maugham. 72. Anna Karenina -- Leo Tolstoy. 73. Mating in Captivity -- Esther Perel. 74. The State Of Affairs -- Esther Perel. 75. The Poly Couple of YouTube and Instagram. 75. The School of Life. 76. Early Indians — Tony Joseph. 77. Tony Joseph’s episode on The Seen and the Unseen. 78. Who We Are and How We Got Here — David Reich. 79. Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other -- James Hollis. 80. Fallen Leaves -- Aki Kaurismäki. 81. I hired a Contract Killer -- Aki Kaurismäki. 82. Manhattan, Husbands and Wives, Crimes and Misdemeanors & Bullets Over Broadway -- Woody Allen. 83. New York Stories -- Woody Allen, Francis Ford Coppola and Martin Scorcese. 84. Running with Scissors -- Augusten Burroughs. 85. Aftersun -- Charlotte Wells. 86. Elena Ferrante on Amazon. 87. Bloodline -- Todd Kessler, Glenn Kessler & Daniel Zelman. 88. Sex and the City -- Darren Star, based on Candace Bushnell's columns and book. 89. She's Gotta Have It -- Spike Lee. 90. She Said -- Maria Schrader. 91. The Take on YouTube. 92. Succession’s Shiv - The Real “Woman Problem" in Business -- The Take. 93. We Are All Amits From Africa — Episode 343 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Krish Ashok and Naren Shenoy). 92. You’re Ugly and You’re Hairy and You’re Covered in Shit but You’re Mine and I Love You -- Episode 362 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Krish Ashok and Naren Shenoy). 93. Dance Dance For the Halva Waala — Episode 294 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Jai Arjun Singh and Subrat Mohanty). 94. The Adda at the End of the Universe — Episode 309 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Vikram Sathaye and Roshan Abbas). This episode is sponsored by The 6% Club, which will get you from idea to launch in 45 days! Amit Varma and Ajay Shah have launched a new course called Life Lessons, which aims to be a launchpad towards learning essential life skills all of you need. For more details, and to sign up, click here. Amit and Ajay also bring out a weekly YouTube show, Everything is Everything. Have you watched it yet? You must! And have you read Amit’s newsletter? Subscribe right away to The India Uncut Newsletter! It’s free! Also check out Amit’s online course, The Art of Clear Writing. Episode art: ‘Meetings and Matings’ by Simahina.
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