Is It Kind of Hopeless?

I mean, thisis, i'm sorry if this seems like a soft ball question, but is it kind of hopeless? Isn't it somehow much deeper than even that. I thought, if i don't know what i knewm that moment, an then i gon to waste my life on futile acpilities. So that kind of experience happened to me in early twenties. Anden ou know, things followed after that. I played hansom and gret pick up the bread crumbsi like that. It wasn't until my psyche was threatened during drug usage tht  the need to see into the nature of the mind, became the primary activity of his life.