And you were, like, as I said, you would sort of go against, you're saying, all right, I don't know about this corporate hellhole and all this stuff. I've done all this stuff. I've done all this stuff. I've done it. Is that the way for it? And I'm like, dude, money, like you're killing the money. Like, well, I don't know where you're going to go. What are you doing? Like you're at the peak of like the best time in history to making money and one of the best cities in the world. I don't know what you're thinking here. Like, are you reasoning this truth? And you're like, no, no, no, no, I have a sort of vibe that I'm following. I'm like, all right, all right. And then obviously with the pandemic and all this stuff, I'm just like, astounded because you would set yourself up so well. But but the thing more than anything that really hit me was you were saying, right, I've got to retract from all this stuff now and I've got to start doing some work. And I'm like, what type of work? I was expecting like, I don't know, just a boarders meditation, do the big long program or something that fix yourself. But you're like, no, I want to go home and I want to, I want to meet, I want to talk to my family and all that. And I remember like, you know, emotionally for me, I'm like, what the fuck? Like, what, what, what could your family? That type of thing, you know, because I've the same thing. Like, I love my family and they're great. And they're all chads, all of them are chads. But but you know, they're in the West that during the time of spiritual nihilism and there's some bad things about it, you know, they're not in a great place, some parts of it. And it's very demoralized people, that type of thing. And then, and you kind of, it's sort of like they want to dismiss them because they're no help, you know, they're not, they're not bringing up positivity because they're spiritually broken all this. And I'm sort of like, why should I fix them? Like, I need to go and become strong and be free from them, being independent from them, you know, that was kind of the way I'd be thinking about, or I need to break free from them be independent so that I can, you know, I can maybe even have control and lead them or something like that. But you're like, no, no, no, I'm gonna go in and I'm going to spread the juice. I'm going to spread the good energy and all that. And now, after all that, considering that, like, you know, we're all like, now is the time we need strong families. And you're kind of coming back to me and saying, you never, you never told me any of this, you know, you just said, this is what I'm doing. And now I'm seeing, I'm like, holy fuck, investing in having a strong family, moralizing your family now is incredibly valuable, unbelievably valuable. I see how important that probably will become over the next couple of years. And what led you to that was trust humility and it's most importantly love for the captain of the team. So sorry, dude, and that's wonderful.

I mean, we can we can unpack this because just as a little bit of background and me killing it in London. So I don't want to say that, you know, money is bad or evil at all. I think it's actually the opposite. And I personally actually like money. I think when even Jesus talks about, you know, the rich and the poor, I get where he's coming from. And I think a lot of times he actually talks about spiritual richness and spiritual hunger, you know, but I also know that money can be very tempting. And with money, like my relationship with it was just that I realized, and it was such a cliche, it felt, it felt weird, even before Christ, that I realized that it really doesn't really, doesn't give you happiness, you know, I mean, I come from a poor background here in Hungary, I was like, you know, growing up in the middle of the glass of the Soviet Union. And there was a whole economic reboot, but in the beginning, especially, those are standards of poverty that are unseen currently in the Western world. And by the way, we were fine. Like, I remember a happy childhood, you know, and when I had all this money, which was like way more than I imagined, that, you know, don't think millions, but I couldn't really spend it, you know, anymore, because I didn't also have time to spend it because I was working all the time. But I could buy all the shit that I wanted. I could invest it in, you know, women, and all kinds of stuff that, at the end of the day, over time, I just felt like it's not really giving me any satisfaction, you know, it's like, it's like I'm a colander, I'm trying to fill this up, but I'm bleeding from all these holes, you know, I'm not whole, I'm not holy,

you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and this is

something that you cannot really talk to your friends about, you know, because you're making that money and it feels like, oh, what is he even talking about? But I felt that, I felt that that was a problem, but I just kept putting the plasters on top, you know, maybe, maybe I just need more stuff, maybe I just, you know, need more casual sex, maybe, maybe just more, you know, I'm not living enough in this great opportunity that I have in London. And then what, what happens with Jesus, actually, that he will, well, at least happen to me, he re-organizes your priorities, which is weird, because it's a massive change, it's a transformation. That's

a great way to put it,

yeah. Yeah, and your priorities and also your intentions, and what it does, and this is something that I think very important to understand, that whatever this experience is, and it's being described in religious texts as the holy spirit will illuminate the darkness, whatever. Well, you can think about it as a metaphor, and that's what it happens, because it won't do anything for you. All it will do is it will reveal things to you. So you see things clearly, so you have a choice now, you know, that's it, that's it. And then when you see things clearly, there are things that you cannot unsee. And because of that, for example, with regards to priorities, the whole family stuff, suddenly I saw it like it was, which was a festering wound that I neglected, because in reality, that's what it was. My head was, no, I'm on my work in here in London, you know, making money, I can't let myself to be pulled down by all this emotional baggage.

Yeah, fuck, that's a great way to

put it. You see, but then when light is, again, it won't push you to do it. No one is holding a gun to your head, that's the point.

You just see, yeah,

you see, it's a fascinating wound, and you are free to neglect it. You're neglecting a fascinating wound, and you can't lie to yourself about the true nature of it anymore. You see, this is like a very mysterious way in which this happens, but that's what

happens.