Understanding the Needs of Highly Sensitive Individuals

[00:01:12] So today I'm talking with Sarah. Sarah, where are you out in the world?

[00:01:16] sarah: [00:01:16] I am in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

[00:01:18] dane: [00:01:18] Nice. Okay. So what's your big goal today?

[00:01:20] sarah: [00:01:20] My big goal is to talk with you about an idea I have for my overarching goals to help people and via the Avenue I'm thinking is life coaching essentially.

[00:01:32] dane: [00:01:32] Wonderful. Are people paying you for anything right now? No. Oh, great. So you're starting from zero.

[00:01:38] sarah: [00:01:38] I am starting.

[00:01:39] dane: [00:01:39] Have you ever worked with anybody in a coaching capacity?

[00:01:41] sarah: [00:01:41] My therapist is also a certified life coach. So in that capacity, yes.

[00:01:46] dane: [00:01:46] Have you ever coached

[00:01:46] sarah: [00:01:46] anyone. No, not formally.

[00:01:49] dane: [00:01:49] Are you called to any specific group of people?

[00:01:52] sarah: [00:01:52] You know, I'm trying to nail, like hone in on that a little bit, but I'm kind of really drawn to identify as an HSP. Do [00:02:00] you know what that is? It kind of along with,

[00:02:03] dane: [00:02:03] I certainly do.

[00:02:04] sarah: [00:02:04] Highly sensitive person.

[00:02:05] dane: [00:02:05] I've even heard of that book. I'd probably do good to read

[00:02:07] sarah: [00:02:07] it. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's a huge, huge bent for me and very much just the way that I am.

[00:02:13] So I feel like I could reach people where they are in that.

[00:02:16] dane: [00:02:16] Okay, great. So let's cover the basics of business to see how rapidly we can build this thing for you. Okay. So the spinal cord of a business, the fundamental soul of a business is a customer and a mechanism and the result. Okay. And this is so critical to understand because.

[00:02:33] This is the meta pattern for just about any and every business in the world. So sure, most people that come to me are really good at mechanism's, not very good at finding customers and not very good about talking about results.

[00:02:44] sarah: [00:02:44] Okay,

[00:02:45] dane: [00:02:45] so let's use an example. Let's take a computer repair shop. As a customer, what results do you think computer repair shops might want?

[00:02:54] sarah: [00:02:54] That computers are fixed?

[00:02:56] dane: [00:02:56] So let's say you own a computer repair shop. What would you want as a computer repair shop owner

[00:03:02] sarah: [00:03:02] customers to come in and bring their broken computers?

[00:03:05] dane: [00:03:05] Yes. Any particular kind of customer, if you're being super, super specific?

[00:03:10] sarah: [00:03:10] Hmm. I don't know.

[00:03:12] dane: [00:03:12] Let's think about it for a second, and you're like, what would be a great kind of customer?

[00:03:15] Someone's got a broken computer. Who

[00:03:18] sarah: [00:03:18] does that want to go to? Like the big stores?

[00:03:20] dane: [00:03:20] That's pretty good. Yes.

[00:03:23] sarah: [00:03:23] You know, might be intimidated by like Mac and I don't know.

[00:03:26] dane: [00:03:26] Yeah, this is very good. What else may be,

[00:03:31] sarah: [00:03:31] I think it would be tough to find repeat clients. You know, as a computer repair shop, you fix their computer.

[00:03:36] It's like buy forever.

[00:03:38] dane: [00:03:38] Unless.

[00:03:40] sarah: [00:03:40] Unless I don't know. They know how to get their customers to share what they do and tell their friends, you know,

[00:03:48] dane: [00:03:48] I'm making you think so that you remember more longterm, unless you install viruses that make them keep coming back. Okay. How about a customer that's a [00:04:00] small and medium sized business with 500 employees.

[00:04:02] That needs fast turnaround when stuff breaks, I think that customer might keep coming back. Yeah. Why?

[00:04:09] sarah: [00:04:09] Because then they know that they'll have the results that they need.

[00:04:13] dane: [00:04:13] Yep. And they've got 500 chances for a computer to break cause they've got 500 employees and a simply by targeting a customer. And by shifting from say a 75 year old grandma who needs her computer to turn on, which could be a good customer, you've now switched to customer.

[00:04:30] To small, medium sized businesses with 500 employees or less or more, and making sure that their computers are fixed within 24 hours to 48 hours. If a problem arising. Which business do you think makes more money just based on those customers?

[00:04:44] sarah: [00:04:44] I mean, definitely with the 500 employees.

[00:04:48] dane: [00:04:48] Yep. And how many business owners do you think take time to try to clarify this?

[00:04:52] Out of a hundred business owners.

[00:04:54] sarah: [00:04:54] Barely any. I can tell you because my husband's in marketing and I can tell you that that's not common. That's crazy. It is crazy. Like who is your target audience? Who do you want to help

[00:05:09] dane: [00:05:09] you take someone who's spent four years learning how to design websites. And giving them zero days and marketing training. They are going to have a deer in the headlights. So it's really a matter of training. So customer, computer repair shop, and you got customer is a business with 500 or so employees.

[00:05:27] What result do they want? What result does your customer

[00:05:30] sarah: [00:05:30] want? Sorry as to who? My brain's a little fuzzy today. Sorry.

[00:05:34] dane: [00:05:34] That's okay. This has a tendency to fuzzy people's brains. Pretty normal.

[00:05:39] sarah: [00:05:39] I can't usually hang because of what my husband does, but I'm going off not much sleep for a few days. So that sign, like trying to put all the pieces together as you're talking.

[00:05:48] dane: [00:05:48] Well, this is good because you want to be able to mumble this drunk pass out face in a gutter.

[00:05:53] sarah: [00:05:53] Yes.

[00:05:56] dane: [00:05:56] The other night and like my girlfriend said, you know, you were talking about finding [00:06:00] painful problems in your seat. I was like, fine, fine, fine. Pretty great. I'll live in it in my sleep folks. So drunk and passed out.

[00:06:12] Mumbled in a gutter. Yeah. Let's go back to the spine for a soul of a business

[00:06:17] sarah: [00:06:17] customer mechanism results.

[00:06:19] dane: [00:06:19] Yup. So you own a computer repair shop and we've decided on your customer being in a business with at least 500 employees. Yes. As the owner of a computer repair shop, let's keep it simple and say a profitable and thriving business.

[00:06:34] Yeah. Say that out loud.

[00:06:36] sarah: [00:06:36] Okay. Profitable and thriving business. Alright.

[00:06:40] dane: [00:06:40] With a good lifestyle. Good quality of life.

[00:06:43] sarah: [00:06:43] Yeah. It's a good balance. They're not the businesses and owning you.

[00:06:47] dane: [00:06:47] Yes. So now there are many mechanisms that guy could do to get there. Yes, we're going to spin this around and it'll all Andrew nicely.

[00:06:58] Okay, so let's say that you are selling to a computer repair shop owner. Okay? So that's the customer. Okay. Computer repair shop owner. The result that they want is a thriving, profitable business with a great quality of life. You could be even more specific. A business that makes 300 grand a year that they work at four hours a day.

[00:07:20] Okay. So the mechanism to get there would probably be high quality clients, high quality repeat business. Does that sound clear so far?

[00:07:29] sarah: [00:07:29] Yes, absolutely.

[00:07:31] dane: [00:07:31] So now let's look at a whole different segment. The customer is now a business with 500 or more employees. Okay? You're the owner of a business with 500 or more employees in regards to the technology and computers.

[00:07:44] What result do you want

[00:07:45] sarah: [00:07:45] to the technology and computers?

[00:07:47] dane: [00:07:47] Yeah. That they work.

[00:07:49] sarah: [00:07:49] Yeah, basically. And that there's a fast resolution if something does go awry.

[00:07:54] dane: [00:07:54] Yes. So your mechanism to make sure that happens is the computer repair shop [00:08:00] owner. Now let's make the customer a highly sensitive person. Okay. What result do they want?

[00:08:07] sarah: [00:08:07] They want to feel. Heard and understood for whatever their frustrations and problems are.

[00:08:13] dane: [00:08:13] That sounds more like what you might want. Okay. And it's okay. Yeah. Let's think about a highly sensitive person. Think about a hundred of them. Okay. What do they all universally want more than anything as a result?

[00:08:28] And would they understand that language? If you talk to a highly sensitive person, would they say, I just want to feel safe? What would they say in their own language? As a result that they a dream result. Hmm. To be around people without losing themselves. To be around people without getting drained.

[00:08:47] sarah: [00:08:47] Yes.

[00:08:47] That's a huge part of it. Absolutely.

[00:08:50] dane: [00:08:50] We're getting somewhere, so a highly sensitive person is to be around other people without being drained

[00:08:56] sarah: [00:08:56] over stimulation in general is challenging for HSPs. Do you relate with that?

[00:09:02] dane: [00:09:02] Oh, absolutely.

[00:09:03] sarah: [00:09:03] I'm like, you have to, I'd be shocked because I know you're highly empathic, so they seem to go hand in hand a lot.

[00:09:10] dane: [00:09:10] Very, very difficult. I'm only just now coming to like. Realizing that what I'm feeling isn't mine, man. I had a girlfriend back in the day once and I was like looking at myself in the mirror and checking out my hairline and I was just so insecure and I was how I had it all and it was feeling this terrible.

[00:09:27] And then my girlfriend at the time, she calls a friend of mine and the guy says something like magical words to her and she just clears up. And all of a sudden I didn't feel worthless anymore. I didn't feel inadequate anymore. She passes the phone over to me and the guy's like, Hey man, you feel better. I was like, yeah.

[00:09:46] And he's like, yeah dude, you don't really struggle with worthlessness like you think you do. Wow. You're just feeling her worthlessness cause she's around her family and has all these issues triggered. And what he said to her on the phone was, just give me your worthlessness. I'll hold it for [00:10:00] you. If you'd like to get a free one on one with me and beyond this show, you can find out details@startfromzero.com forward slash podcast and then, so that's what she did.

[00:10:12] She cried and gave him the worthlessness and I

[00:10:14] sarah: [00:10:14] felt better.

[00:10:15] dane: [00:10:15] My hair didn't matter anymore, my face anymore. So I mean, I'm so sensitive to the point where if I'm in love with someone or with someone that I'll take on their feelings as my own and even act them out.

[00:10:29] sarah: [00:10:29] Yep. That's the real struggle.

[00:10:31] dane: [00:10:31] That's what?

[00:10:31] Unhealthy.

[00:10:33] sarah: [00:10:33] Yeah. It's, it takes, you gotta be aware and like you're saying.

[00:10:37] dane: [00:10:37] Yeah. And I think I must probably have some issue with feeling worthless if I'm actually picking that up. So long story short. Yeah. Yes. Highly sensitive. And it's. So we've got being around other people without being coming drained.

[00:10:52] We've also got overstimulation in general. They probably wouldn't say, I feel overstimulated. What result would they say.

[00:11:00] sarah: [00:11:00] I think I'm having a little bit of a hard time connecting the HSP thing to like a computer repair shop. I don't want to like undo all this, but I think that's where I'm having a hard time.

[00:11:09] dane: [00:11:09] Well, then forget about it.

[00:11:10] sarah: [00:11:10] Okay.

[00:11:13] dane: [00:11:13] Customer mechanism result. We'll do one that's very common. Okay. A newly pregnant woman that wants to lose weight. Okay. The result is they want their pre-baby body back mechanism is WeightWatchers. Okay. Mechanism is yoga mechanism is curves for women. Mechanism is keto diet, right?

[00:11:34] Mechanism is whatever the ever, so now let's go to customer mechanism result for highly sensitive person. Okay. The extremity of computer repair shop to this is to show you that business spine is fundamentally the same. No matter what business and what category are you going to. Okay. And if you're actually able to think of this highly sensitive person niche as [00:12:00] customer mechanism result, you're going to be very far ahead of most coaches.

[00:12:03] I like the idea. So customer is highly sensitive person. The result they want is what in their own words.

[00:12:12] sarah: [00:12:12] Their own words,

[00:12:13] dane: [00:12:13] because see, they don't even really understand. The problem is that they're highly sensitive. Right? They're just subject to very difficult experiences

[00:12:22] sarah: [00:12:22] and a lot of outside influence telling them what they should look like even after having

[00:12:27] dane: [00:12:27] children.

[00:12:28] Well, that's if we're doing the women who,

[00:12:31] sarah: [00:12:31] Oh,

[00:12:32] dane: [00:12:32] no, we're on highly sensitive people.

[00:12:35] sarah: [00:12:35] Oh, I see. Just in general.

[00:12:38] dane: [00:12:38] Okay. This is a lot of information. Let's have your brain just relax for like 30 seconds. Take a few good breaths.

[00:12:53] So what's the spine of business

[00:12:56] sarah: [00:12:56] customer mechanism result?

[00:12:58] dane: [00:12:58] Yes. So the Stu and other random example, pick a random customer niche.

[00:13:05] sarah: [00:13:05] Relationships. What

[00:13:07] dane: [00:13:07] kind of,

[00:13:08] sarah: [00:13:08] let's say, boundaries in relationships.

[00:13:11] dane: [00:13:11] So that's not, not quite a customer. Boundaries and relationships for a highly sensitive person is

[00:13:21] sarah: [00:13:21] beautiful.

[00:13:23] dane: [00:13:23] Okay. Relationships and boundaries by itself puts you in a sea of a million other people and no one's going to hear you screaming no matter how loud. Yes. But if you do boundaries and relationships for highly sensitive people, now you're pretty sweet. So a business owner. So general, highly general, what result does a business owner want?

[00:13:42] Every business owner,

[00:13:43] sarah: [00:13:43] they want business and repeat business.

[00:13:47] dane: [00:13:47] Good. So the mechanism could be

[00:13:50] sarah: [00:13:50] what could be advertising, I guess, in whatever platform marketing.

[00:13:55] dane: [00:13:55] Could be. What else? I mean

[00:13:57] sarah: [00:13:57] sales like direct sales.

[00:13:59] dane: [00:13:59] Very [00:14:00] good. What else?

[00:14:01] sarah: [00:14:01] Different kinds of networking events. Just to meet

[00:14:04] dane: [00:14:04] people. Yes. This is a really good a referral system.

[00:14:08] Yes. So here's where our business gets really exciting. I outsource the mechanisms. All I do is find customers, figure out the results they want, and then I hire the experts that understand the mechanisms.

[00:14:24] sarah: [00:14:24] And that's why you're smart

[00:14:26] dane: [00:14:26] probably,

[00:14:27] sarah: [00:14:27] and why you're teaching us. Yeah.

[00:14:30] dane: [00:14:30] I would say there's something within my brain that is automatically seeking complete liberation and freedom.

[00:14:39] And so if I'm not feeling liberated or free, my brain turns into the highest level of RPM to figure out that freedom is very clear to me. That if I'm an expert at something that I'll be limited. So I didn't choose to be an expert because my, one of my biggest goals was that as I became more successful, I would have more freedom.

[00:15:00] Yeah. So if I'm an expert or a technician, the more successful I become, generally the less free I am because the more needed I am. Right? So when I was like 21 or something, I said, the more successful I am, the more free I want to become. So that's sort of what gives birth and rise to the stuff that's taught.

[00:15:17] Yeah. So I really do appreciate the compliment, and it's more about being very clear about a standard and then not bending to it. You know, when I started, when I set out in business, I said, I do not want to exchange time for money. Yes. So I just never did anything that would exchange time for money within like a 95% so not never, but 95% of the time I was like, it was so in my bones.

[00:15:41] I was like, you could be a speaker, you could be this. I was like, no, I'm not going to fly to make three grand to speak or 10 grand to speak or 50 grand to speak. I'm not going to fly to do that because that's still exchanging time for money. So I got so good at passive and automated and asset based income that I [00:16:00] got so bored, so I was so free that I started teaching people.

[00:16:04] That's why I started teaching people and I like teaching, so, or I feel it's almost like a karmic responsibility to teach like

[00:16:11] sarah: [00:16:11] very much suits you and I think you help a lot of people. So I'm glad that you do.

[00:16:16] dane: [00:16:16] Well. Thank you. Yes, it started from the standard. I will not exchange time for money and I did it so well that I got so bored money.

[00:16:22] I was still making all this money. It came from a standard, it didn't come from intelligence. It came from a standard. So you sit down and you resolve. I will not exchange time for money. And then the wimpier part of the brain, he's like, well, how do you do

[00:16:36] sarah: [00:16:36] it? I can't do, I don't know how to

[00:16:37] dane: [00:16:37] do it at school.

[00:16:38] Then just quit whining and do the pushup. Yeah, so that's clear. Just so people like just set your standard customer mechanism result. So you're a business owner now, and as a business owner, you definitely belong here. You belong here because you say you want to belong here. And I have a business owner friend of mine, he makes 250 grand a year and he's a consultant and I let him listen to one of our groups where I'm around.

[00:17:05] Some business owners, you know, they'll do like a hundred grand a month. The guy that created it like maids, like $10 million a year or whatever, and he's in there and he's like, I can't be around these people. I don't belong here. And he's a business owner making a quarter million a year. He's like, I can't be around these people.

[00:17:20] Day is just too much for me. And I was like, suck it up and we'll process that later. Stay here by the end of the call. He's like, I'm fine now.

[00:17:29] sarah: [00:17:29] Wow.

[00:17:30] dane: [00:17:30] But it's like, you know, if something's difficult, they'll give it up. Like there's times of process and like, listen, we can't process your feelings right now cause the call is going on right now, so suck it up and do the pushup.

[00:17:39] We'll process it later.

[00:17:40] sarah: [00:17:40] Exactly. It's like shelf it for later. Yes.

[00:17:44] dane: [00:17:44] And then I was like, so if it's things are difficult and you bail, don't bail. Yeah. What I want to say is you're worthy of what you want and it's not even a matter of worth. Really. I'd made millions of dollars and I still struggled with self worth.

[00:17:55] It wasn't until I loved my level of self worth that it resolved [00:18:00] and had I loved my level of self worth at the beginning, I would have built everything, having a lot more fun.

[00:18:06] sarah: [00:18:06] That's good perspective. That is the kind of comes the hard way, you know? But yeah, it's invaluable. And I appreciate you sharing that too, because that's very much just where I'm.

[00:18:16] Just now coming into, I've dealt with that my entire life, very much. Playing small, hiding, not thinking I had any gifts at all, or talents to share with the world and really believing that life or most of my life. So I'm just kind of, yeah. Coming to a place where I'm like, well, if I really want to help people, then I need to get out of my own way a little bit in the process and just show up and the rest of it will come together in the process.

[00:18:42] dane: [00:18:42] You know? You know, when you said I have gifts, what I wanted to say initially is, no, you don't, and you don't need them. But if it's true, you do have any gifts. But the part of me wanted to say for some reason, no, you don't. Yeah. And you don't need gifts to do this.

[00:18:59] sarah: [00:18:59] Interesting.

[00:19:00] dane: [00:19:00] And I would say, would you say I have gifts?

[00:19:02] I would say no. Yes. What I would say is I've acquired skills through reading books. I've acquired experience, and those could be now perceived as gifts that I have some innate intuitions and I have some innate inclination to business and I've seen the people and people, but what I want to say is you don't need gifts and you don't need to be gifted.

[00:19:22] What you need is a heart for serving people. If you have a heart for serving people. Then you sit with them and you listen to them. Let's say you're dyslexic. Let's say you're even, you dropped out of high school, but you sit with someone with a heart to serve them with a pen and paper and you listen to their deepest pain and you ask them what the results they want for their life are, and you have no skill to speak of yourself other than a pen and paper and listening, and let's say it's a woman that wants to start her own business.

[00:19:51] And I don't know anything about starting a business, but I know how to listen and I have a heart for serving people.

[00:20:01] [00:20:00] If you'd like to hang out with people reading the star from zero book, listening to the start from zero podcast, listening to the book on tape and build businesses with them and do it with people together, visit start from zero.com forward slash starters.

[00:20:19] And I'm not gifted other than I want to listen and I have a heart for serving. So, okay, you want to start a business? How long have you wanted to do that for 10 years. Okay. 10 years. Have you ever had any ideas. Oh, I tried this. Do those work out? No, I'm so sorry to hear that. What is it that you're wanting now with a business?

[00:20:39] Well, you know, I want to be able to provide for my kids, send them to college, have free time to spend and play with them. Not have to look at the price of gas, be able to buy organic food. And then you sit there, you write all this down and you know nothing about how to start a business. But you're sitting there and listening, and then you sit there, you say, listen, you know, I don't consider myself particularly gifted.

[00:20:59] I don't even consider myself to know how to solve this problem for you. But if I went out and found the foremost experts on how to start a business, and they were actually women who had done it themselves, and I interviewed those women, and I put third tips and strategies into a book and in a course for you.

[00:21:16] And so you could learn from the horses mouth. Other women and how they built their businesses. And that could be your mentor, your support, your loving companion, your guide, your friend on this journey. Would you pay for that? Now? Tell me what you heard in that, or even what you felt in that.

[00:21:32] sarah: [00:21:32] I mean, I heard a very considerate tuned in person asking really good questions.

[00:21:39] Mostly questions. So you weren't like giving a lot. You were asking most questions, very much active listening, you know, repeating back to her and empathizing or whoever you were talking to.

[00:21:50] dane: [00:21:50] Did you feel love.

[00:21:51] sarah: [00:21:51] Yes, definitely

[00:21:52] dane: [00:21:52] feel compassion. Definitely that you feel ego. No,

[00:21:57] sarah: [00:21:57] not at all.

[00:21:57] dane: [00:21:57] Did you feel pride? No.

[00:21:59] The [00:22:00] heart of entrepreneurship is so beautiful.

[00:22:04] sarah: [00:22:04] I believe that it's kind of the thing that keeps pushing me this direction. I mean. I mean, I literally used to tell people as a child, like they would ask me, what do you want to do when you're older? You know, when you grow up. And I would just say, I have no idea.

[00:22:17] I don't know. I don't have any skills, talents, gifts, nothing. And there's lots of things that played into that. But these would be adults that would be talking to me and confiding in me, and I would just be sitting there listening. And then I recall this conversation at like 10 years old and this adult saying like, I don't usually.

[00:22:33] Talk to people your age, but I just kind of feel comfortable with you and like you can handle it, you know? So I've very much always held space for people and it's where I'm most comfortable. It's what I do naturally. I love listening to people. I love really, really like going deep on what they're saying and asking them more questions.

[00:22:51] And I do that without thinking. So that part is there. I've just always too much focused on the other parts. I think. You know, like that's not enough is what I've, essentially, the message has been, you know, that if I have a heart for people or just because I want to listen, like what does that really do?

[00:23:09] dane: [00:23:09] You know? So the top two skills you need to build are selling. And what I was doing with that woman at the table was selling. Yeah. Asking her what she wants, asking her what her problems were, connecting to her experience. Offering a solution. I didn't come up with this solution. I'm going to have experts who are women who started a business.

[00:23:29] Now I'm going to go out to a successful female business owners on Google, and I'm going to reach out to them and say, I am so inspired by your business. I have a group of women that have really wanting to start a business, but I'm not a woman who's done it. I was wondering if you would like to contribute and help other women achieve financial independence.

[00:23:47] You think a woman's going to say no to that?

[00:23:49] sarah: [00:23:49] Yeah, hopefully not. I don't think so.

[00:23:52] dane: [00:23:52] No.

[00:23:53] sarah: [00:23:53] Especially at stain age,

[00:23:54] dane: [00:23:54] especially a successful female woman. Yeah, because a successful female woman is going to just [00:24:00] look out to the world. It'd be like, how do I reach more women to let them know they could have what I have.

[00:24:04] Yeah. Because the heart of this is so simple and okay, so top skills selling other skill is outsourcing. And then you listen, you sell, you outsource, and you listen. Don't know how to make a website overwhelmed with some tech thing. Outsource, don't know how to make a product outsource to an expert. Let's say you go to the skate park and you sit down with skateboarders.

[00:24:27] And you say, Hey, I've got candy. You want some

[00:24:32] sarah: [00:24:32] creepy at all?

[00:24:34] dane: [00:24:34] Yeah. You try to escape, or you say, you know, Hey, would you mind if I ask you some questions about skateboarding? Sure. Why do you do it? Well, you know, my dad's at home and he's an alcoholic and he's kind of abusive. And so I just like to be out of the house and skateboarding's really fun and it gives me a sense of purpose.

[00:24:51] I know not every skateboarder's got an alcoholic. Sure. And so then you say, Oh cool, and what's the next big trick that you're learning? Oh, I want to learn this kick flip over the ramp. That's XYZ. How long have you been trying to practice that kickflip how do you go about trying to learn that trick right now?

[00:25:06] Oh, you learned it by watching your friends. Oh, is there like a skateboarders portal online where other skateboarders are just showing off their tricks. Oh yeah, dude. It's called YouTube. Oh, okay. Is there anything you don't like about your skateboard? No. Skateboard is good, man. Do the wheels roll long enough, like as the level of friction?

[00:25:25] Good. Does the skateboard slow down too fast or anything? Nope. Skateboards. Good. How long do you usually go before you buy a new skateboard? Oh, I know. I keep skateboard for like three years. All right. Skateboard ideas are out. What's your biggest challenge as a skateboarder? Actually? Well, you know, my biggest challenge is actually getting over the fear to do a trick when I know I might break my arm.

[00:25:45] Oh. And now you probably have the basis of a product idea and you create an illustrated guide, an iPhone app, something that's a way to learn tricks to keep your body safe from injury. So you say you test it out, you [00:26:00] say, so if I had like an iPhone app. And it was a specially designed training that would teach you skateboard tricks and a safe, incremental way.

[00:26:10] So you don't actually have to injure yourself and stop skateboarding. Because I know you're tough and I know you're not so afraid of injuring yourself. It would suck not to skateboard. Right. Cause then you're playing into there. Right. Machismo

[00:26:21] sarah: [00:26:21] persona.

[00:26:22] dane: [00:26:22] Yeah. And they say, yeah, you know, that'd be great. Now is that something that would be worth paying for?

[00:26:27] They might be like, eh, you know, cause I can just watch on YouTube and you say, well, YouTube is good, but this would actually incrementally show you small steps, so you're really safe from injury. Oh yeah. You know, then I'd probably pay for that. And so now you have this unique training program that shows them how to incrementally practice a trick to be extra safe with injury.

[00:26:44] Yeah. Now if they say, no, I still wouldn't pay for it. You still put it together. It proliferates amongst a million skateboarders, and now you have skateboard suppliers, skateboard wheels, skateboard shoes, skateboard gear, skateboard hats. And they're all paying for advertising to be in front of your product.

[00:27:02] So they're in the iPhone app at the top. It's like the best skateboards online. Below it is like the top gear for skateboarders. And they click on that and now you've got like now you go to the top skateboarding eCommerce store and you send them a message and you say, Hey, I've got an app that half a million skateboarders are looking at every month.

[00:27:19] Half a million every month looking at to learn tricks safely, and I'm looking for the best products to advertise to them. Would you like to advertise here? So what's happening is the heart of entrepreneurship is not forceful. It's curious. It doesn't have an agenda that it forces on someone. It is. The heart of entrepreneurship is so beautiful because it says, I'm here to serve.

[00:27:42] So you see, we fumble the skateboarders. Okay. Nope. Skateboard is not right. Oh, okay. Breaking their arm when they're doing it. Okay. And it took a little while to get there, but we're there to serve. Right? So we risk looking like a fool because we're actually caring and asking questions, potentially a skateboard, you know, and you risk rejection when you mentioned ideas.

[00:27:59] Skateboarder. [00:28:00] That's stupid. Get outta here. Yeah, she come back the next day and ask another skateboarder. But then you end up helping skateboarders not break their arms. So what's the spine of business?

[00:28:11] sarah: [00:28:11] It is customer mechanism results.

[00:28:13] dane: [00:28:13] So let's do the customer. As a skateboarder, what was the result they were wanting in this example?

[00:28:19] sarah: [00:28:19] To help them with learning new tricks? Not be so scared.

[00:28:22] dane: [00:28:22] So that they don't, they don't fall and hurt themselves and then they can't.

[00:28:25] sarah: [00:28:25] Oh yeah. Then they can't skateboarding.

[00:28:28] dane: [00:28:28] That's a pretty specific articulation. That's probably very resonant with skateboarders. Would you like to learn tricks in a way that's safe and injury free so you don't have to give up skateboarding?

[00:28:38] If you get hurt, then the mechanism we are allowed to unfold by finding the path of least resistance.

[00:28:46] sarah: [00:28:46] What do you mean by that?

[00:28:47] dane: [00:28:47] Well, they don't want to buy it, so we're not going to force them to buy it. Oh, gotcha. They do want to buy it, so then we sell it to them. They don't want to buy it, but they definitely use it.

[00:28:54] Right. Okay. So then we'll get it free. Build up all these skateboarders eyeballs, and then they pretty good money selling advertisements to other products. This is the heart of entrepreneurship and why it's so easy to start. Tell me what you're thinking. I

[00:29:06] sarah: [00:29:06] was just gonna say, that's crazy to hear you say it and I believe it 100% coming from you because you've done it.

[00:29:13] And you've shown that, and I think he very much done it authentically based on these principles you're talking about. I'm just kind of laughing out loud because for so many years in my mind, all the reasons why it's not so easy to start.

[00:29:28] dane: [00:29:28] What you're talking about. Oh, okay. So tell me more.

[00:29:31] sarah: [00:29:31] Well, I guess all I'm saying is like, I've just told myself it's not enough this whole time.

[00:29:37] You know, like even in my mind as we're talking, I'm thinking like, but how could you, like, I still have a major hang up at the certified life coach thing cause I'm like, why would people pay someone to coach them who's not, you know, like maybe trained or certified or has these certain accolades or. You know what I mean?

[00:29:52] But you're sitting here telling me like, you just seemed to have a heart and listen and care and want to serve people, and that's why it's so [00:30:00] easy, which is very contradictive to how I lived.

[00:30:07] dane: [00:30:07] If you'd like to learn how to make money and you need a path to do it, visit start from zero.com and you'll see a whole context of how you can actually get started. There's a three phase process that you can go through. If you're a beginner, intermediate, or advanced, go there. It'll tell you exactly what to do, where to go, and how to get started, and you don't need money for some of the options.

[00:30:28] And if you do have money, you can buy some of the other options. It's all laid out for you with crystal. Clear clarity@startfromzero.com where do you go and what do you do? You'll find out there.

[00:30:44] Yeah, and you don't want to operate in a place you're not qualified to operate in. Right. So maybe you have great coaches that are experts at working with highly sensitive people and you hire out that mechanism. I'm not going to be the one creating the skateboarding training videos. Right, right. So then they, Oh, well, how would you build the skateboard videos?

[00:31:02] Well, there's probably a lot of cool ways you could figure it out. You could run Facebook ads. You could reach out to every pro skateboarder and tell them the mission, ask if they want to be a part of that kind of mission, making skateboard injury free by doing learning tricks in an incremental way. I bet skateboarders want to be a part of that.

[00:31:18] Yeah. So you talked about that not being enough and now you're starting to see that it is enough. Yeah. Why? Why are you starting to see that it's enough?

[00:31:26] sarah: [00:31:26] That's a great question. I think it always helps to step outside and then go from the other side, which you do a lot and are doing, but, and I think I finally did kind of just start asking myself some questions, I guess, and say, you know, like, are there that many good listeners in the world?

[00:31:42] No, not really. Do I feel valued in end scene? When I am in a conversation where somebody is looking at me and not, you know, their eyes aren't fleeting all over the place, behind my head or down to their phone or you know, and not just, and maybe pass that like, are [00:32:00] they, you know, replying to what I'm saying in such a way that I know they are actually hearing what I'm saying.

[00:32:05] And you know, I can't expect everybody to do this just because maybe I do or enjoy it or it's natural to me. But. I don't know. And my husband is a huge, huge, just encourage her in general, and so he's been for years, just trying to encourage me and say the same thing you're saying really in a lot of ways.

[00:32:22] But yeah, I don't know. I've just always felt like it was not enough. But like you're saying, like you can have, the other pieces of business can be successful. They can know how to get their results, they know how to get and keep their customers, but if they don't have a heart to actually serve through what their business is for.

[00:32:40] You know, or really meet their customers where they are. It's kind of empty in my mind and

[00:32:44] dane: [00:32:44] pointless.

[00:32:44] sarah: [00:32:44] So I don't know. I can't get to the end of my life and not have tried to do something to help, you know, that's just always my thing that pushes me forward, is that I want to help people. So

[00:32:55] dane: [00:32:55] there's a transformation that I think is gonna need to happen in your brain.

[00:33:00] Okay. Do you feel that as well? What transformation would that be?

[00:33:06] sarah: [00:33:06] Well, I mean, it's funny you said the very beginning. I don't think worth has anything to do with it, but that is something that I do struggle with. I

[00:33:12] dane: [00:33:12] think a lot. That doesn't mean it's not a struggle. Yeah. Have you ever met any sociopathic people that are successful?

[00:33:18] sarah: [00:33:18] I mean, how do you know they're sociopathic? You don't always know that upfront.

[00:33:22] dane: [00:33:22] Have you ever seen anybody that's really successful, but they're like

[00:33:25] sarah: [00:33:25] not that great of a person? Yeah.

[00:33:28] dane: [00:33:28] So then we do know that so forth has nothing to do with it.

[00:33:32] sarah: [00:33:32] Yeah,

[00:33:33] dane: [00:33:33] sure. But the thing is it does. If you're a sensitive person and you're connected to your experience, you can't just, what these persons generally do is they dissociate from their sense of self and they build it anyway.

[00:33:45] Yeah, I'm worthless. I'll dissociate from that and build it anyway. But the rest of us that are really connected to our bodies and don't want to dissociate from our sense of self to build a company worth very important. But when I say worth. It doesn't matter. What I mean is that if you follow [00:34:00] the mechanics successfully, you've built something successful because it's really about the mechanics.

[00:34:05] Listen, find a pain, find an expert, sell it. It's mechanical. Yeah, so let's give space for the the worst thing because it's a specific quality of worth, I think you're talking about. What would you say it is? What kind of a worth do you feel worthy as a mother?

[00:34:19] sarah: [00:34:19] That's very much in process as well.

[00:34:21] dane: [00:34:21] Do you feel worthy as a woman?

[00:34:23] Same answer. So

[00:34:24] sarah: [00:34:24] was very much a self thing. Yeah.

[00:34:26] dane: [00:34:26] Great. So this is very exciting because, and it keeps it very simple. Yeah. So you said, I didn't think what I knew or what I had would be enough. I think that comes from the same place. So can you feel very gently this character inside of you that he wrestles with worth and just feel it?

[00:34:49] Can you feel how real it is? Yeah, absolutely. Can you also feel whether it's who you really are or not? Or does it seem like it's definitely who you are? I think

[00:35:00] sarah: [00:35:00] just up until recently it has felt that way, but I think that's kind of what I'm just finally starting to push through and out of is believing and yeah, mostly just believing that, that it's not who I am.

[00:35:12] It's not all of me.

[00:35:13] dane: [00:35:13] It is simply said, it is an identity and that identity is fundamentally a thought and that thought can be held. So when you get that, what you've been believing about yourself and what you've been thinking about yourself is a thought that can be held and there's something underneath, and then you're like, okay, well my personality was kind of built on this.

[00:35:39] My thought patterns were built on

[00:35:41] sarah: [00:35:41] this very complex

[00:35:45] dane: [00:35:45] and not so, when I say it's a thought, the root thought is only a thought and it can be held. That is the place you start. If we're struggling to take action as generally routes down to one thing, what we're [00:36:00] thinking of ourselves unconsciously or consciously.

[00:36:03] Yeah. When you get that, while you're thinking of yourself consciously or unconsciously as only a thought and what we actually are and what I'm on the precipice of feeling here is we are infinite potential, and when you operate from that place worth actually loses its entire meaning. Because, and you'll start to get to this place as you build the awareness to start seeing that that self worth while.

[00:36:25] So real indeed sympathy and compassion is a thought. Yeah. And it's not who you are. It's only a thought. Then you're like, okay, son of it, what the heck? You start noticing these things as real but not true. Real, but not true. Real, but not true. Held and loved and felt, but not really true to who you are. Not dismissed, not, Oh, it's not true, but it's real.

[00:36:48] It's not true. So I'm going to dismiss it in a sort of way. No. Embraced and held like you, you, you'll be good at this when you are completely okay with holding the most worthless aspect of yourself. If you make friends with the worst part of your mind, if you make friends with the worst part of this worst and you're okay with, it sums up full steam ahead, but when you're not okay with low self worth, then you identify with it, then you become it.

[00:37:17] As soon as you're okay, like, Ooh, there's worth, there's low self worth coming. I know that one. Yeah. And then it doesn't stop you if you are just identified with it. Dis identified with it. Okay, so here's how this works. When that child that just cried when they were born, they came into earth as a contraction and they formed their sense of self, the primary contraction of her sense of self.

[00:37:43] That itself is not who they are. That itself is a thought that can be held. And that sense of self is like the trunk of the tree. There's an awareness underneath the trunk of the tree. That's the place of the infinite potential. This is what I'm on the precipice of understanding based on my mentors and [00:38:00] stuff.

[00:38:00] So when you see that your infinite potential, you start to see how addicted you are to these identities because they're so rooted. So what you want to understand and what you want to do very gently, is start building your capacity to be okay with feeling worthless. Meet the worst part of your mind, like a friend.

[00:38:15] Okay. And hold it. When I say we're infinite potential, are you able to connect with that at all? Yeah. Wow. That person that just said, yeah. Was that from the place of your infinite potential? So from the place where we see where infinite potential now we see the identity of even entrepreneur is limiting.

[00:38:33] I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to think I'm an entrepreneur. That's the thought I want. Sure. And even that's limiting compared to infinite potential. It's like, well, even though, I mean I'm like a hundred things or 50 things, and those are all just identities. I'm infinite potential. So when you sink the concept of like your self worth.

[00:38:51] When you're in the contract, that sense of self, that feels unworthy, that contract, that sense of self will try to feel worthy at once worth. Sure. You can just wake up from that game all together. You will wake up from the sense of self into infinite potential and then you see, or you could work on it to feel worthy as an identity.

[00:39:08] Because I'm experimenting with this, I'm more inclined as to wake up from the game altogether. So when you go into infinite potential. The concept of actually feeling worthy in and of itself doesn't make any sense because it's a story. And any description of yourself just does it even hold in the realm of infinite potential.

[00:39:24] And then from this place you're like, well, yeah, I need to start a business because it seems really fun. Or. I want to serve people. Tell me what's going on for you right now.

[00:39:32] sarah: [00:39:32] I'm just kind of internally reflecting on, I think I used to live in this space or found it for a short time, but I don't know. I've just, I think my eyes, my perspective has gotten too bogged down in all of this.

[00:39:44] You know, like all of my inadequacies or perceived inadequacies or whatever shortcomings.

[00:39:50] dane: [00:39:50] All the senses of self that have those, which is not who you are, but they are very real. You have aspects of yourself that identify as inadequate. You have aspects of yourself that identify as [00:40:00] worthless, right? Your greatest fear is not real.

[00:40:03] Right? Like if you were here in my arms, you were crying in my arms about how inadequate you felt. It's not really. You go ahead and feel it and then you'll find out like maybe part of you actually wants to feel inadequate,

[00:40:14] sarah: [00:40:14] and I think that's also a different level I'm coming to is being aware of. Gosh, why do I so strongly need to identify with this or this or this?

[00:40:23] You know, in order to, I don't know,

[00:40:25] dane: [00:40:25] probably cause your personality was built around it,

[00:40:27] sarah: [00:40:27] right? Like he said, very layered

[00:40:30] dane: [00:40:30] way of life. So you gently do that by shooting to the root, shooting to the sense of self. Hold that with love and compassion. As soon as you can hold the worst aspect of yourself as a best friend, free.

[00:40:41] sarah: [00:40:41] That's what I've done for everyone else, but myself. It almost broke me just recently to a point where I was telling my husband like, I'm done. I don't want to do any of it. I don't want to help people like what has been there for people or listening to people or Holy space for people, like where has it gotten me?

[00:40:58] I feel very empty and like, I don't know, used up in some way, but

[00:41:02] dane: [00:41:02] I'm not expressing who I am and it's killing me.

[00:41:06] sarah: [00:41:06] Yes.

[00:41:07] dane: [00:41:07] Yes. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will kill and destroy you as leave that quote from the great work of your life.

[00:41:16] sarah: [00:41:16] I believe that 100%

[00:41:18] dane: [00:41:18] so what's the spine of a business

[00:41:19] sarah: [00:41:19] customer mechanism results

[00:41:22] dane: [00:41:22] and as a customer for a highly sensitive person.

[00:41:26] Do you know any highly sensitive people outside of like you and I, and you could sit down and ask them what it's like to be them and what they desire when they're around people and what they desire when they're around stimulating environments. And you can find out the results that they want and then you can figure out the mechanism later.

[00:41:44] And since you're not a certified coach, right? You just work with them for free and see if you can generate a result. Like you work with them for free and say, Hey, I'm not certified. I don't even know what I'm doing. Would you want to do some experiments with me and see if we could solve this together?

[00:41:59] You [00:42:00] say, sure. You start generating results and you don't need a certification. Really at that point, if you're able to reliably generate a result, you might want one, but I've been generally certification avoidance because I'm just more like, can we get a result or not? I think there's something to be said for.

[00:42:14] Learning how to be with someone, but you've been doing that your whole life. So you sit down with highly sensitive people. You ask them the result they want, then you ask them if they're willing to experiment with you to try to get there. You're in business. How many people do you know that are highly sensitive?

[00:42:27] I'd say like six or seven. So talk to all of them. Schedule a call with one of them a day. From Friday to next Friday. Hey, can I talk to you? I've been thinking about something. Send him a text. Send him a message. Talk to one person a day and ask them questions about results they're looking for in their life because they're HSP.

[00:42:45] Okay. Then invite them and do. A possible experiment where you help them for free and see if you're able to get them a result and make sure you have fun.

[00:42:53] sarah: [00:42:53] Yes,

[00:42:53] dane: [00:42:53] that's key. Do you have any questions for me?

[00:42:55] sarah: [00:42:55] I'm sure I will after, but not off the top of my head at this moment.

[00:42:59] dane: [00:42:59] Okay. If you ever get stuck, which is very likely, but make sure you visit, start from zero.com forward slash.

[00:43:06] DJP. Okay. And that's a free process that you can use to rapidly get yourself unstuck. It helps you shoot straight to the identity and hold it.

[00:43:15] sarah: [00:43:15] Okay. I appreciate that very much.

[00:43:17] dane: [00:43:17] Yeah, you're welcome. And you're definitely worthy of serving another human, and you're definitely worthy of being able to help someone.

[00:43:25] You appreciate that you've been doing it your whole life. Yeah. Yeah, they can do it for you. Good job. So for years, people have been asking me, what's the big secret? How do I do this? And the answer is simple. My life took off when I had mentors. Too many people try to do this stuff alone and get stuck and give up.

[00:43:44] Listen, if you haven't succeeded in business or entrepreneurship yet, it's simple. You haven't failed enough yet. You haven't been around enough mentors yet. If you combine failure with mentorship, you will fly. I had someone say, why. They people so more successful than me. How come I [00:44:00] can't get this right?

[00:44:00] And they said, well, how many times have you failed? He's like, wow. A lot of times I'm like, have you failed more than 10 times? He said, no. I was like, you haven't failed enough yet. You haven't been around mentors enough yet. Failure is how you learn. Michael Jordan has missed so many game winning shots.

[00:44:13] You've got to get out there and fail, and how are you going to do that if you're all by yourself, all alone, beating yourself up in your own thoughts? Listen, I'm going to give you access to my board of advisors, my board of advisors that I talked to sometimes every day. I'm gonna get you. You access to them every month, live for you to ask questions and get your mindset on straight.

[00:44:32] They're going to ask you questions that are hard for you to answer. Those are the kinds of people you want in your life. You're also going to get access to not only the board of advisors, but my entire community, the start from zero community, all the entrepreneurs that are practicing these things, building these businesses.

[00:44:47] You'll get access to this community and this board of advisors and much more with the new program we launched called start from zero.com forward slash. Starters. And you can see how you can get access to my board of advisors and ask them anything you want. Monthly, you'll get automated accountability to stay focused.

[00:45:05] You get a community of other people, all building businesses with the start from zero methodology. And guess what? You get kicked out of this community if you do not take action. So it is serious people. So if you'd like access to that information about that, go to start from zero.com forward slash starters and it's about time that we get together and strengthen each other and fail.

[00:45:26] Together and pick each other back up together and show each other each other's blind spots and ask the hard questions and drive each other to that golden finish line of a business that you don't have to work in a business that provides freedom. So you can sit around on a Tuesday and watch HBO if you want.

[00:45:43] All right, start from zero.com forward slash starters. [00:46:00]