I think one potential lesson from your story is that change doesn't exist in a vacuum. There are these ripple effects that basically spiral out of our control after we've made that first intentional effort to change something. It's sort of like that nursery rhyme, there was an old woman who swallowed a fly. Then she swallowed the spider to get the fly that green a wi will inside her, and then she keeps swallowing new things. That's kind of what change brought into my life. I became addicted to the need that something had to change in order for me to be happy. And so i never gave myself any moment to be or relax or appreciate it,. Because there was more to do