Why Confidence Fluctuates

4 Questions That Improve Self-Confidence

October 13, 2025 | Episode 5201

Host: Scott Smith

Episode Description

Ever notice how confident you are until you're not?

Scott's been "training" for his annual physical like it's the Olympics. More cardio, cleaner eating, the works. His wife called him out on it. And yeah, he admits it—that white coat syndrome is real.

But here's the thing about confidence. It's not about swagger you can buy at the store. It's about knowing exactly what you're stepping into and having a simple way to validate it.

Scott shares four questions from "The Three Minute Rule" that'll change how you approach anything scary. From breaking boards to asking for that raise.

Featured Story

Scott got his black belt at 33 years old. Walking into that dojo for the first time? People in pajamas making strange noises.

But the real terror? Breaking boards.

It's just a one-inch pine board. Nothing dramatic. But that first punch through changes everything. Suddenly you want two boards. Then four. Can I use my elbow? What about a kick?

That's the moment confidence shifts. From "I can't do this" to "give me more."

Scott reveals what happens in your brain when you master that first scary thing—and why the next level always brings a new devil.

Important Points

Confidence lives at your current level until you step up—then everything feels scary again and you need a new toolkit.

The four validation questions work for anything from breaking boards to breaking through your mundane routines.

Wisdom isn't being chicken—it's knowing which boards to break and which ones to walk away from.

Memorable Quotes

"Swagger is expensive. You can't buy it at the store. It's hard to get."

"New level, new devil. Every time you step up to a new level, things get a little bit, it throws you out of your confidence zone."

"If you can't answer 'are you sure?,' how are you going to be confident?"

Scott's Three-Step Approach

Ask yourself what it is and how it works—if you can't explain it, your confidence is built on air.

Validate you can actually do it with the time, skill, and resources you have right now.

Answer "are you sure?" honestly—this question separates real confidence from empty motivation.

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