The chapter discusses the difficulty of making friends as an adult and the importance of friendships for overall happiness. The speaker acknowledges that while it may be harder to make new friends as adults, the quality of friendships may not necessarily decrease. They speculate on the reasons why making new friends may become more challenging in adulthood and consider how our definition of friendship evolves over time.
How do friendships change as we get older? Should you join a bowling league? And also: how does a cook become a chef?
RESOURCES:
- “Social Support From Weak Ties: Insight From the Literature on Minimal Social Interactions,” by Joshua Moreton, Caitlin S. Kelly, and Gillian Sandstrom (Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 2023).
- Join or Die, documentary (2023).
- “I Tried Bumble BFF for 30 Days — Here’s What Happened,” by Beth Gillette (The Everygirl, 2022).
- Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends, by Marisa Franco (2022).
- “Grocery Store Opens ‘Chat Registers’ for Lonely Customers,” by Gabriel Geiger (Vice, 2021).
- “The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss,” by Daniel A. Cox (Survey Center on American Life, 2021).
- “Number of Close Friends Had by Adults in the United States in 1990 and 2021,” by Michele Majidi (Survey Center on American Life, 2021).
- “You’re Not Uncool. Making Friends as an Adult Is Just Hard,” by Peter O’Dowd and Kalyani Saxena (WBUR, 2021).
- "My Restaurant Was My Life for 20 Years. Does the World Need It Anymore?" by Gabrielle Hamilton (The New York Times Magazine, 2020).
- “Why You Miss Those Casual Friends So Much,” by Gillian Sandstrom and Ashley Whillans (Harvard Business Review, 2020).
- “The Bros Who Met Their BFFs on Bumble,” by Rebecca Nelson (GQ, 2016).
- “Sex Differences in Social Focus Across the Life Cycle in Humans,” by Kunal Bhattacharya, Asim Ghosh, Daniel Monsivais, Robin I. M. Dunbar, and Kimmo Kaski (Royal Society Open Science, 2016).
- Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef, by Gabrielle Hamilton (2011).
- “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review,” by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton (PLoS Medicine, 2010).
- Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, by Robert Putnam (2000).
- The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community, by Ray Oldenburg (1999).
- Character Lab.
EXTRAS:
SOURCES:
- Daniel Boulud, chef and restaurateur.
- Pete Davis, co-founder of the Democracy Policy Network.
- Wylie Dufresne, chef and restaurateur.
- Marisa Franco, assistant clinical professor at The University of Maryland.
- Beth Gillette, beauty editor at Cosmopolitan.
- Gabrielle Hamilton, chef, restauranteur, and writer.
- Daniel Humm, chef and restaurateur.
- Ray Oldenburg, professor emeritus of sociology at the University of West Florida.
- Robert Putnam, author and professor of public policy at Harvard University.
- René Redzepi, chef and restaurateur.
- Gillian Sandstrom, senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex.
- Dieter Uchtdorf, Apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and former Senior Vice President Flight Operations at Lufthansa Airlines.
- Lyle Ungar, professor of computer and information science at the University of Pennsylvania.
