Earning the 'Shiny Plaque' and Its Cost

This episode is deeply personal.

Today, I'm sharing a part of my story that I've hidden for a very long time.

Elizabeth Le Forest is walking with me through painful topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, chronic illness, masking, people pleasing, burnout, and what happens when a neurodivergent person spends their life trying to prove they are worthy of love, belonging, and support.

For years, I wore a heavy mask.

I learned to push through it all with a smile

• Rejection
• Exhaustion
• Pain.
• Fear.
• Overwhelm.

I learned to disconnect from my body and my needs because somewhere along the way, I absorbed the message that who I naturally was wasn't "acceptable."

So I kept trying to prove that I wasn't:

• "lazy"
• "bad"
• "selfish"
• "annoying"
• "weird"
• "stupid"
• "a brat"
• "dramatic"

I spent years chasing scraps of approval, hoping that if I achieved enough… helped enough… worked hard enough… pushed through enough…

maybe I'd finally be "good enough."

Meanwhile, my body was breaking down.

I pushed myself far beyond my limits and it almost killed me

This conversation is vulnerable, emotional, and honest.

If you are parenting an autistic or ADHD child… if you support neurodivergent kids and teens professionally… or if you are a neurodivergent adult who has spent your life trying to prove you are enough…

I need you to hear this:

Autistic and neurodivergent children need to be deeply loved, supported, protected, and reminded of their value exactly as they are because they are growing up in a world that constantly tells them they are wrong.

• Too sensitive.
• Too emotional.
• Too loud.
• Too weird
• Too annoying and on and on

Children absorb those messages.

And when they spend years believing they have to earn love and belonging by masking, overachieving, people pleasing, and ignoring their own needs, the cost is dangerous

You do not have to destroy yourself to prove your value.

You were never supposed to spend your life chasing scraps of approval.

And I hope this episode reminds you that your needs matter too.

You are valuable. You always have been and you always will be.

❤️ Holly, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist

P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

What's Inside:

📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers

🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive

🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs

🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches

💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis

Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation

✅ 3 detailed cases along with accommodations

✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need

✅ Free helpful education resources

Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

➡️ Educators click here

Join me in my Facebook Groups!

➡️ Parents click here

➡️ Therapists click here

Learn about my private practice - North Carolina Center for Autism and ADHD

🙋🏻‍♀️ Join me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube

Please leave a review! Your 5-star reviews help other families and professionals find The Autism ADHD Podcast. Thank you:)

Thanks to Elizabeth Le Forest for interviewing me for this important episode! Elizabeth only has a few 1:1 spots available for her Sacred Creatrix program. This program is for neurodivergent women who are healers, creatives or moms. Inside this dedicated container, clients get the high-level, customized support to heal and expand their nervous system so they finally feel safe enough to be fully present in their body, show up as their most vibrantly authentic self, and shift into sustainable alignment in every area of their life. Click here to learn about the program!

About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.

About The Podcast

The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.