Herson wright: I think what you've described is text book definition of what it means to have complicated grief. And in trying to put myself in your shoes, i'm thinking, you know, death of any kind presents so many unexpected changes. Ye, i'm not just grieving my husband during the age of coved. I'm grieving the guy i thought he was. So it's two headed. and i remember touching his ashes one day, saying, i just want to remember, i'm trying to remember that i love you.