What if you could rewrite the code of your personality—on command? Not just cope with anxiety, overthinking, or social exhaustion… but delete the traits holding you back and install better ones?
This episode challenges everything you’ve been told about identity. Dave dives deep into the science of personality change to reveal why your habits, moods, triggers, and even sense of self aren’t fixed—they’re fluid. And more importantly: they’re up for grabs.
Joining him is award-winning journalist from The Atlantic, Olga Khazan, author of Me, But Better, who spent years hacking her own mind—transforming high neuroticism, social avoidance, and chronic self-criticism into calm, confidence, and connection. Her personal experiment in identity rewiring became a roadmap for anyone who wants to feel different… and live differently.
You’ll uncover the hidden mechanisms behind neuroticism, reactivity, and emotional spirals—and how to override them with real-time upgrades.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• Why your personality is a program—and how to recode it
• What daily behaviors scientifically rewire anxiety, anger, and reactivity
• The surprising link between identity, inflammation, and your gut
• Why gratitude isn’t soft—it’s neurological jiu-jitsu
• How to know if it’s your biology or your story running the show
• Whether pills, psychedelics, or sleep do more to shift who you are
• What to do when your inner critic won’t shut up
• And how to stop being the person you never meant to become
SPONSORS
-LMNT | Free LMNT Sample Pack with any drink mix purchase by going to https://drinklmnt.com/DAVE.
-Leela Quantum Tech | Head to https://leelaq.com/DAVE for 10% off.
Resources:
• Olga’s New Book – Me, But Better: https://www.amazon.com/Me-But-Better-Science-Personality/dp/1668012545
• Dave Asprey’s New Book - Heavily Meditated: https://daveasprey.com/heavily-meditated/
• Olga's Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/olganator/?hl=en
• Olga’s Website: https://olgakhazan.com/
• 2025 Biohacking Conference: https://biohackingconference.com/2025
• Danger Coffee: https://dangercoffee.com
• Dave Asprey’s Website: https://daveasprey.com
• Dave Asprey’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/daveasprey
• Upgrade Collective – Join The Human Upgrade Podcast Live: https://www.ourupgradecollective.com
• Own an Upgrade Labs: https://ownanupgradelabs.com
• Upgrade Labs: https://upgradelabs.com
• 40 Years of Zen – Neurofeedback Training for Advanced Cognitive Enhancement: https://40yearsofzen.com
Timestamps:
• 0:00 — Trailer
• 1:52 — Intro
• 2:16 — Personality Changes and Neuroticism
• 5:38 — Postpartum Personality Shifts
• 10:21 — Gratitude and Cultural Beliefs
• 18:13 — Anger Management and Empathy
• 32:58 — Personality Traits and Boundaries
• 35:46 — The Importance of Strong Boundaries
• 36:07 — Personality Change as Self-Improvement
• 37:22 — The Role of Medication in Personality Change
• 39:18 — Brain-Body Connection and Mental Health
• 43:26 — Impact of Sleep and Nutrition on Personality
• 44:23 — Nicotine and Other Substances
• 45:41 — Therapy and Personality Change
• 46:43 — Changing Personality Through Behavior
• 1:01:25 — The Role of Relationships in Personality Development
• 1:04:49 — Challenges and Methods in Personality Change
• 1:08:38 — The Power of Improv in Personality Change
• 1:10:17 — Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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