Leia's Escape Through the Trees

Inside you, there are two wolves. One wolf realizes that he’s on a planet that cuts people off from the Force and—even though he’s camping out in a deadly jungle with a woman whose life’s ambition is to murder him—he decides to take a nap about it. The other wolf is actually that very same murder-y woman whose survival instincts tell her to pop amphetamines and stay awake for three days straight. Somehow, both of the wolves are also eldest daughters. Listen, okay: it’s a metaphor for Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. But…tell us we’re wrong! You can’t, ‘cause we’re not.