Recognizing Relationship Patterns and Healing from Past Traumas

On Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast episode 211, licensed therapist Kati Morton let’s us know if there is anything we do that makes people think they can trauma dump on us, why we can feel at our worst in the evenings, and her thoughts and experiences with internal family systems therapy. She also tells us how to get out of a depressive episode, how to deal with codependency in friendships, and how we can actually feel our feelings. audience questions: 1. I'd like to ask if there is anything I do that makes people think they can trauma dump on me. I grew up as my parent's therapist and feel like my friends do the same thing. Also no one ever seems to care about how I am. I've been depressed and struggling with passive suicidal ideation and Eating disorders. I'm obviously tired and struggling but no one bothers to ask about me and what is going on. Am I doing something wrong and what can I do? 00:47 2. Why is it that someone who has experienced trauma, aka me, might continue to feel overwhelmed by the emotions of it all when alone in the evenings, even when there is no threat or trigger that I can find? I normally distract myself a lot, but I then just end up not dealing with anything- I’m either all or nothing. (Ps: Due to circumstances I’m currently not having sessions with my counselor). Sorry, I hope this makes sense. 09:23

25 Coping Skills 14:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td4LQ2rxVa0&pp=ygUca2F0aSBtb3J0b24gMjUgY29waW5nIHNraWxscw%3D%3D 3. I know you mentioned before that you were starting your own IFS work, and I was wondering your thoughts on it so far? (if you're ok with sharing!) I started with my therapist about 2 months ago, and I really struggle to take it seriously and let go enough for it to be effective. I can't seem to imagine the different versions of me, and the talking to little me part seems so juvenile and awkward that I feel like I don't take it seriously and it isn't really effective. The catch is, I'm people-pleasing my way through it. I'm just playing along with what my therapist says, and I feel like I'm gaslighting her into believing it's helping. I feel like my issue is that I just can't let go and actually let it actually help because I feel so silly. Just wondering if you ever ran into this, or if you had any suggestions on navigating this because I truly want it to work! Thanks for all you do, you rock! 14:53

PARTS WORK IN THERAPY 15:07 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gymev70IGiI 4. Do you know what I can do to get out of a depressive episode or at least make sure it doesn't happen at certain times? This may sound very stupid and maybe there is nothing i can do. I have struggled with these episodes for almost a year now, but only in the last few months they have become so recent that they scare me. I have more lows than good times and even in my good times a tiny thing can disrupt me and send me straight back to my low... 24:35 5. Hi Kati. I was wondering if you would talk about codependency within friendships. 32:23

Kati's inner-child workshop 39:40 https://katimorton.com/the-shop 6. Everyone keeps telling me it’s important to ‘feel my feelings’ and acknowledge my grief (I had an accident so grieving the life I won’t have now) but I don’t understand how to or what that really means. Could you explain how I can try to move on with my life and... 40:31

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