I Love Being Retired

Pamela Wenzjull called another emergency press conference to show just how well she's doing without the need to call emergency press conferences. She then showed off this new hobby in the process demonstrating a deep misunderstanding of both the concept of birds and the concept of watching. The resulting fire wiped out the podium and indeed the entire press conference gazebo, sending both Pamela and the attending reporters fleeing in every direction. See how wonderful being retired is? She shouted behind her as she sprinted away, smoke-fueled tears streaming from her sunken eyes. It's the best.