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Many of us treat our inner life like a home renovation project.

If I could just fix my overthinking, my consistency issues, my need for approval, and my procrastination, I could finally become “the person I’m supposed to be.” Yet often, the more we try to fix ourselves, the more tense and self-doubting we become—it’s like we are managing a difficult employee in our heads.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: much of self-improvement is just self-rejection in nicer clothes. Stay with me...

Carl Rogers—one of the most respected psychologists of the 20th century—offers a different perspective: real change doesn’t come from forcing yourself into a new personality. It comes from accepting what’s true, without flinching.

This is not a call for complacency.

It’s a call for a more realistic kind of transformation—one based on honesty rather than self-conflict.

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