How to Deal With Emotions

When someone expresses an emotion that might be different than what we expect, is there a way that we can learn to slow down and manage through that process? We should use a segment of the Nijia, just describe the four C's about us, but now spin it toward the other person. If you got upset with me writing that conversation, it's not necessarily my fault. But I need to understand what was the trigger to bring you to that level of emotional response.