An orchard is a place where you grow apples. It's got loads of apple trees everywhere, apples growing on all the trees and every now and then when they're ready, when they're ripe, you go and collect them in baskets for sale. So, why didn't you bring your girlfriend to the nightclub, Ribo? Well, you wouldn't bring an apple to an orchard. According to Ribo, it is the same thing. And this leads James to kind of question the logic of that statement and to go off on a monologue about how that compares to bringing your girlfriend to a nightclub. The idea is that he's talking about how much he hates lads nights