How to Be an Alcoholic Writer

I have a sociopathic edge to me right now, don't I? Can't you hear that weird, cold, even temper to my voice? Don't I seem like a little soulless and kind of into myself? Let's unapologetic and like... Just as a verometer, I just want to do a little experiment just to see how different you are tonight from other nights. Because I don't know how funny you guys feel at 5.30, but you should just be thankful that I'm an alcoholic because no one should be this drunk. Backstage, you're feeling pretty cocky about your self-worth and you're talking about your powers as a writer