The Necessity of Male Friendship

We have talked about masculinity and manhood on this show before. Today is the mature version of that conversation, going back to the oldest teachings we have.

In this episode, attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith sits down with His Eminence Metropolitan Jonah, retired primate of the Orthodox Church in America, rector of St. Herman's Church and Abbot of St. Demetrios Monastery, for a conversation about what forms a man. 

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In this episode you will learn:

1- Why so many young men have no working model of a man, and what that costs them
2 - What it looks like for a father to nurture, and why the word gets mocked online
3 - Why a father's role with a son and with a daughter cannot be filled by anyone else
4- The distinction between servant leadership and authority that serves itself
5 - Why male friendship has thinned out, and the Russian word for the friend who is your other self
6- Why a marriage cannot carry every burden both people bring home
7 - The third way between swallowing every feeling and collapsing into all of them
8 - What asceticism actually asks of you, and why self-control is a threshold of maturity
9 - The nous, the two aspects of the mind, and what the Western tradition left behind
10 - Why responsibility without shame is the mature form of all of this

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Metropolitan Jonah was born James Paffhausen in Chicago to a German American Episcopalian family, and was raised in Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Diego. While studying at the University of California, he discovered the Russian Orthodox Church and was received into the faith in 1978 at age 19. After completing his BA in Anthropology at UC Santa Cruz, he attended St. Vladimir's Seminary, earning both a Master of Divinity and a Master of Theology in Dogmatics. He later worked in real estate finance and for the OCA Diocese of the West, and resumed doctoral studies in theology at Berkeley before traveling to Russia in 1993, where he became a novice at Valaam Monastery. Upon returning to the United States, he was ordained a hierodeacon and then a hieromonk in 1994, serving St. Mary Magdalene Mission in Merced, California, and helping to establish several new missions.